This is actually a comment I posted in my friend Michelle’s blog. Since she never spares the confrontation on her front it usually necesitates thought provoking, REAL, responses. But since she liked it so much I decided to post it here for everyone else.
Let me get real here. Since the beginning of time, women have been playing a game that’s rigged against them and wondering why they can’t win. It’s kind of humorous but kind of sad too. Humorous and sad because it’s written so clearly for the world to see but women keep looking past it. Now I don’t want to offend anyone but let’s just look at the world from an objective perspective. What is the first story that happens in the bible? Adam and Eve. The first thing any Christian learns is that it’s all the woman’s fault. Look at the fairytales little girls are told when they are young. They all end with a girl’s dreams coming true with submission to a man. Look at other cultures outside of the U.S. Women aren’t even allowed to think about being anything but submissive. ALL women, of every culture are constantly being conditioned to believe in the very things that will hold them back in relationships. You all are taught to idealize and fantasize impractical things that contribute to your dependency on a man. The men you are conditioned to want are the same types that have been pulling the strings since the beginning. Men with status, men with money…basically men who make the rules. These men are just as likely to allow women to uncondition themselves to these detrimental ideals as White America is to give Black America the know how to empower themselves. So to answer your questions you have to change the game. If you keep playing the game the way it is you will always lose. Counting on chance or luck to end up with the right man is just fool’s gold. The game is set up so that a man can win and reach his goals utilizing a large pool of women, contrary to the woman who can only reach her goals with one man (and quite frequently, this man is the objective of the majority of women) Do you see the glaring contradiction? 1 man has 100 options, while 100 women have to share one option. You can continue to work with the odds you are given and you will only make yourself crazy, or you have to adapt. Now This is obviously no easy task. How does one change a mindset they’ve had all their life? fortunately I’m not faced with that parcular dilemma so I can’t say I have a proven method…just more theory. But I can say that for some of the social norms I’ve been conditioned in that I broke away from, it starts with realizing who it is making the rules to the game you’re playing, and figuring out what it is they don’t want you to know. I can’t tell a woman how to forget that she’s always idealized her wedding day, or to forget her whole value as a human is based on her desire (desirability) to reproduce. But I can say that as long as a woman’s self esteem is based in male concepts of desirability, women will be at man’s whim.
As a footnote this picture was ironically taken at a wedding for a woman who’s dreams did come true so to speak. Although, it wasn’t the wedding she always dreamed of thanks to Gustav, as you can see it turned out to be a lovely ocassion. Congrats Jam!