So I finally made it to the movies to see this cause I’m sure next week they’ll be shipping it out for some trash. Now I haven’t and don’t intend on seeing “The Messenger” But anyone who wanted scares and thrills was in the wrong theatre if that was their choice. I actually had a completely different idea of what the movie would be like. I took the title too literally and thought it was a sci-fi movie about men giving birth to children. Nevertheless, I was thoroughly impressed. This was the best movie I’ve seen this year which isn’t saying much because the only movie I can remember seeing this year is Smokin Aces which wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be and Stomp the Yard which I’ll get to in a sec. Without spoiling any of the movie it was incredibly directed. The story itself wasn’t really that big of a deal. Take some “84”, add a spice of “the nativity story” and you’ve got the script. But it was shot and directed like a combination of Saving Private Ryan with the intimacy of the Blair Witch Project. And there was an incredibly mvoing scene which I also will digress to mention near the end where the world actually stopped for a second. The end left something to be desired. There was a journey to a place we never got to see and never really understand why it’s so important to get there. But a movie like this which is making a statement probably wanted to at least sell enough seats to keep it’s investors happy. There aren’t too many people budgeting millions of dollars for art these days.
That being said “Stomp the Yard” might be the anti-mid life crisis for me. I’ve never been as happy to be getting old as I was when I walked out of that theater. I have no reservations about spoiling the plot here because it’s the same one they used for Drumline except scriptually inferior if you can imagine that. Drumline I liked, even in it’s audacity, making a freshman BMOC, and winning over the hottest chic, with the most going for her at the school. But there was no charm in this movie. It wanted to do too much and didn’t spend enough time doing any of it. Probably because they needed extra time for the slow-mo shots of dance moves that I still managed not to comprehend. Then there were various dance-offs where people would girate violently at each other and, for some indecipherable reason to me, on ocassion, I guess the only fitting word here is “serve” the opponent. This movie needed a handbook so I could understand exactly how to differentiate from these moves. I had and still have no idea how they were winners. At the end he does an elbow slide and I don’t know why but after that “It wasn’t on” anymore.
At a certain point in the movie the chapter presidents of the two major frats on campus are bidding for this dudes services. One frat goes so far as to have some of it’s brothers do yardwork for this dude. YEAH RIGHT! Then there’s like 35 dudes between the two frats, but only 6 of them have any lines. And all the communicating is done between them, even though half of them are new pledges who’ve ascended to the ranks already. Meagan Goode is what we thought she was as Dennis Green would say. In a world where Spike Lee makes a great movie like School Daze that still only grazes the surface of black college life this movie should be ashamed of it’s own existence. It’s easily the worst movie I’ve seen since “The Brothers.”