Do you know who I am?

I had my ten-year reunion this past weekend. And I’m not sure if while drunk dancing through Dreams one of my friends thought it would be funny to write loser on my forehead, but that girl certainly saw something to make her think that. I met this girl on Friday night outside of Dreams. The next night I called her to invite her to hang out with my classmates at Hookah bar. She said she had to work but she would call me when she got off. So finally around 4 or so I get the call. I tell her that we’ve left Hookah but if she wants to hang I’ll come scoop her. So I drive down to Burboun where she works as a shot girl at one of these bars. She tries to convince me to go to Razoo’s but since they kill black people there I’m not going no matter how many black employees they’ve hired since. Anyway we end up driving around the city. We’re talking the usual getting to know you talk which is becoming more and more mind drubbing with each new person’s boring typical experiences. So I asked her what her “man situation” is like. She comes back at me with

“Well, I’m single but me and my ex are still friends, and we’re working on trying to get back together. We’re only sleeping with each other (which is code for he sleeps with who he wants but tells me not to sleep with other guys) but I can date other guys.”

Elle Ohh Elle!!!

So at this point I’m trying to think of the most polite way I can to tell her to get out of my car. What exactly about me that night did she see that made her think that was something I was interested in? I can say I appreciate her honesty. That’s good of her to just come right out and be like this is what it is. But I consider it almost disrespectful that she took me for the nigga that likes to take the girls out who go home to bone other men.

“I want you to go to that store, and buy some Oreo’s. Then I want you to stand on this corner and hold the pack of Oreo’s out. In a little while some Nigga will come by. Open the pack and he will eat some of the Oreo’s. After about 5 minutes he’ll leave. Just wait there with the Oreo’s until he comes back.”

If somebody told you to do that you would look at them like they had lost their Goddamn mind. This female wants a man to spend his money and time entertaining her while she is both emotionally and sexually unavailable, just so some other man can eat all the Oreo’s? Nigga Please! This young lady had much too high an opinion of herself.

At any rate aside from that the rest of my reunion was lovely. This was actually my second reunion in two weeks since I went to two different high schools, but this was the official one since I graduated from McMain. Just as in the first I was happy to see so many people I hadn’t seen in years.

We reconnected and made pseudo false and some true promises to stay in touch. And I got the joy of meeting Dario’s family friends. We played Bid Whist Saturday and they decided to welcome me to their “Network” Which basically means every three weeks or so they will call me to the fish fry/BBQ/ Seafood boil, to drink and play cards and listen to Frankie Beverly while they do old folk dances and talk buku shit to each other. In case you are reading this and don’t know me the only thing that would make an event like this more heavenly is to throw on a football game. This kind of stuff going on in my life and girls think I got time or inclination to want to warm them up for some other man. God bless their misguided souls.


7 responses to “Do you know who I am?

  1. I have seen your blogs before, and I love the way that you put your words together. i mean you can make your situation (with the girl) sound like a sitcom or something. I can tell that you are a very talented writer. i would love to see a poem or maybe even hear you, I’m in Baton Rouge, so I would have to come there to hear your stuff. I wish there was a spoken word joint here, that would be nice. But yeah good stuff…………interesting.

  2. Reading your words is really just like hearing you talk. I swear I feel like I should be in the “negro section” of the old U.C., trying to figure out if I can hold domino long enough to make somebody sign and still make it all the way to the front of campus in time to get a good seat in class. Back in the day…

  3. When I saw that pic I thought to myself… “Looks like a party down here”, with the napkin in the air like that, then when I saw Dreams I had to laugh to myself. Anyway, LOL @ the oreo analogy.

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