I’ll preface this by saying this is not directed at anyone in particular. It is merely the divine stimulation of a conversation between a friend and I that managed to turn itself into blog somehow. I also hope women don’t read me wrong on this as there is a fine line I’ll be treading. For this initial argument I’m pretty sure the same can be said of men but with different motivation. Women are quite the fickle creature. What women want and what they settle for from men has far less to do with standards and more to do with timing and circumstance. Let’s just be real general here and say that the woman desires the relationship and the man desires sex.
(Qualification) blah blah blah…Every situation is different….not every woman wants….not every man is just looking for…fill in your cliche. Yes I already know these things. But we’re speaking generalities here.
So then, in this cat and mouse game that we call dating, men and women being opposing forces as they usually have different and sometimes opposing goals, It’s one sex vs the other to see who caves first. Men try to get sex from women. Women use the sex (or use not having sex) as bait to lure men into commitments. And in some instances men (as Kibwe would so eloquently put) get there foot caught in a “pussy trap.” Now in the preliminary stage when we’re selecting our target is when the happenstance occurs. Any woman can sit down and list all the things that she wants her man to have. Rarely is it that the man they choose meets these standards. Is it because the standards are too high and can’t be met? Nay. It’s because when a woman chooses her mate then whatever he is lacking she will fill in the appropriate blanks using her imagination and some creative presumptions. A woman might very well, select for a mate, someone that she has walked passed dozens of times with no interest just because he’s there when the loneliness (horniness) kicks into overdrive. In this way women are not too different from slot machines (I’m laughing out loud at how offensive that sounds.) A man can come along and do whatever he wants to try to woo a woman but if she’s not ready he’s just not going to “hit the jackpot” The poor bastard is just sitting there buying dinner warming the slot up for the next man, who if he is lucky enough to drop his quarter in at the right time will look and feel superior to the brownnoser. Of course there are some slot machines that are looser than others, and put out more winners with smaller paydays. But I digress. So then, when a woman starts to fuss about how her man (or the man she wishes to lay claim to but can’t) is no good, it’s because this woman wasn’t adhering to the set of standards she has set. Or she had managed to convince herself that she was even though evidence would probably show otherwise. And the man, having conquered this woman, (and by conquer that is to say he has gained her devotion, usual without having to concede his own) yearns for the challenge of other women, hence the ancient proverb “Ain’t nothing betta than some pussy ‘cept some new pussy”. This formerly (and still possibly presently by other men) sought after woman becomes less appealing to our proud Lion (that is until he no longer feels he has control over her.) To those on the outside looking in she is still a jackpot, therefore one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. And this applies pretty much across the board. I believe it was Chazz Palmentieri who said “Show me a beautiful girl and I’ll show you a guy who’s tired of fucking her.” No matter what a woman’s aesthetic value she is a candidate to be some man’s trash if she doesn’t use good judgment and skepticism.
More than a few people questioned me about dating Kawagalyn because of our age disparity. But I rebuttled that I was more likely to be attracted to a girl her age because most women my age who are available are so because they were deemed unfit for permanent monogamy by whatever man came before me. More times than not these particular women have become short on tolerance and embittered by the trials of relationships and being left out as trash by some man. And there’s no bigger turnoff when it comes to choosing a mate then negativity. This does not necessarily apply to (but does not necessarily exclude) those women who are not involved because their own ambition wouldn’t allow it. Those women I usually am not attracted to for far separate reasons. But the point is that I’m not in the business of collecting another man’s trash. Since gaining a greater understanding of the world it has been the most disturbing prospect to me that I might end up in a committed monogamous relationship with some other man’s trash. I still believe in the concept of ideals if not the practicality of them, so ideally speaking my mate should be someone who I feel would reflect well on me. The idea is that the couple is one entity and therefore your significant other should be your equal and/or an accurate representation of you.
Of course then there is always the possibility of role reversal. That is to say that the woman is the one who runs the game and makes herself come across as not having been trash (much the same way that men put up the facade of emotional availability) as a ploy to get what they want, which as we settled earlier would be a relationship for these women. Now in my old age and vast, vast wisdom I have come to learn one thing. I’m not as smart as I think. And I am not beyond having the wool pulled over on me. I can’t even think of all the girls who I’ve heard were now married and I wondered if the poor schlep had any idea what kind of woman he had signed up for. In the interest of being a good Christian I won’t mention any of these women by name (even though one in particular is begging for display, because of her reprehensible act to my friend) But let’s just say that I would get a small private moment of joy to be confronted with these women and their husbands, in the way the crab at the bottom of the barrel has that small sense of satisfaction having pulled one of his fellow crabs back in. Conversely, I would want to jump from a bridge if I ever walked man and wife with a woman, who some man had a private sense of joy seeing me with. As ego driven as the male is to wake one day and know that some guy somewhere in the world who doesn’t know your face mocks your good name in jest because of it’s association is all men’s worst fear. And I’m no different. Now of course conquer does not equal sex…that is unless of course that’s what we allow it to be which, unfortunately, most often is the case. Women who don’t want to look like trash (or nickel slots) think that the number of guys they have slept with is in direct correlation with the level of trash they are. And this does not have to be true. If sex were not a form of submission than the number would be irrelevant. It’s the reason why they give themselves to a man and the volume in which they continue to, at his whim which is the source of being conquered. And there in lies the fine line between bullion and pyrite.