T.R.I.G.L-Ten things I love in no particular order
(No one left to tag)
-Friends and Family, most especially at the moment
-Firing a pass through the lane to an open teammate
-My ipod (I never leave my Ipod in my car because if the car got stolen I would be pissed at losing the Ipod)
-My girlfriend’s face, body, smell, attention, sense of humor, love, hair follicles, toe crust, loud burps, peeing with the door open…..Etc.
-The end all be all blog, as well as a host of others (blog whispers “than why have you been ignoring me”)
-Song of Solomon
-daydreaming about winning the World series of Poker
-Looking at the outside of jail
-Police cars that pass and overtake me
Thank you to Rock and especially Shontae for the birthday wishes. Well the rumor is true I did in fact turn a whopping 27 Friday before last. Sigh. This is really getting out of hand. I actually don’t really care too much about being 27. The only significance it has is that this was my target age when I was about 20 and heard that they would be releasing prequels to Star Wars at three year intervals. The week before my birthday I had to be reminded that I had a birthday approaching in a week, But I could barely wait til the day before my birthday when Revenge of the Sith would be released. In hindsight I have to say I’m slightly disappointed. When I left the theatre (both times) I was pleased with my viewing because it didn’t let me down. But in all honesty it would have been hard for George Lucas to mess this one up for me. It was destined to be my favorite. Objectively he could have told a better story just because he had so much to work with. But anyway I’m getting bored of myself listening to Star Wars banter. Anyway being 27 sucks so far. I remember on my 25th birthday I was actually depressed the night of my birthday but then after that wasn’t so bad. But two weeks into 27 and it sucks. I’m about to whine like a spoiled little girl. I’m sure the Gian that walked into a jail twice and got shot are somewhere waiting on me to step into the wrong alley and beat some perspective into me but neither of them was around when I started this blog so it’s mine, not theirs.
-Let’s start with lyn’s mother. So let me preface this by saying that since High school I have only cared about the way my friends and family thought of me. Other than them I only marginally care about people’s opinion of me. One thing that high school taught me is that sometimes people just aren’t going to like you no matter how hard you try to make them. Once I realized this I acquired my good friend chalk and didn’t give one whit about anyone’s opinion anymore. Unfortunately I lost sight of this lesson. lyn’s graduation would be the first time I would be meeting her mom and step dad. I had heard the stories of how her mom is so unrelenting and hardass. But I wasn’t worried for a second. Talking to women is one of my strong points and I believe that if you have enough conviction you can talk anyone into anything. Well I knew that my heart and intentions were genuine so I didn’t fret. What mother wouldn’t want her daughter to be with someone so devoted to her happiness and well-being? Long story short I went well out of my way to make this woman understand how I felt and that I had nothing but the best of intention. Somehow she came away from this feeling like I was the scum of the earth. I felt bad at first. But then just plain angry. She had absolutely no reason to believe I was anything but a good person. Instead she arbitrarily decided she didn’t like me and then used a lot of trite examples to justify her case. I was upset at first but I got over it even though I could hear her disappointment everytime she asked lyn something about me. That is, until she called lyn a couple of days before my birthday and told her she wanted her to come home on the weekend to talk to her. Now what, (barring a family emergency, which it wasn’t because no one else in the family knew what it was that was so important) could she possibly need lyn to make a 7 hour round trip for that she couldn’t discuss over the phone, considering that lyn was supposed to be going home for the summer the following weekend? Exactly, she wanted to badmouth me without me being there. Among other things she said that “she really did try but she just didn’t see the good in me.” Now I can understand if you just don’t like someone. What I don’t understand is the unjustified Utter contempt she has for me. I think she’s just extremely jealous and she knows I’m a threat because her daughter has feelings for me that she can’t control. That and she’s spoiled and she doesn’t know how to handle when she doesn’t get her way. At any rate That was quite discouraging for me because I had never put forth so much effort to try to gain someone’s favor for them to decide I was a scoundrel. I mean I was making an effort to be this woman’s friend. If I’m going to be with lyn I want to have a good relationship with her family. But she took advantage of that and spurned me. The worst part about it was when my mother asked me what was bothering me and I told her about this, she all but agreed with the woman. I guess she was trying to explain to me that the woman probably didn’t mean anything personally and she was just saying that she might approach the situation the same way. But hearing my mom agree with this woman who said she didn’t see any good in me didn’t make me feel any better. At any rate lyn did not go back on Fri, as her mom had requested, since it was my birthday.
So my friend Jen calls me on Friday and I tell her that I’m hanging with lyn tonight so I can’t kick it with them for my birthday. But she’s going home tomorrow so I’ll hang tomorrow. Except that her mom is pissed because she chose to stay there with me instead of coming home so her mom calls her fussing telling her don’t bother coming home. Which means that lyn is still in town. Well of course I want to spend as much time with her as I can considering she’s leaving in a week and she’s going to DC after she leaves Nachitoches so that means I’ma kick it with her now. So me and my family went to see Revenge of the Sith again. Yeah Jen and my other friends got chalked so to speak. But Goddamn it’s my fucking birthday. Can I decide I want to be with my girlfriend and that not be a slight to our friendship, especially considering I can see you all summer while she is gone and I don’t have anyone to play with? Well that’s what I thought but apparently I was mistaken. Because when I called to explain to her and apologize for not coming out Saturday as expected I got berated. And in response to my explanation She decided to make an attack on lyn via my blog, to which lyn obviously responded. Now I did feel bad for not hanging out with them as I said I would so I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. Until I got a call from her later that evening. Jen had been letting me use one of her cell phones. I decided against paying my bill last month mostly because I didn’t really feel like hearing from any of my friends who I knew would all be telling me to leave lyn. I was in no mood for giving explanations or getting harassed so I let the bill lapse. Jen offered me her phone in the mean time which I accepted. But then on the evening of their little comment exchange she calls me telling me she is trying to reclaim her phone. I call her back and ask her very explicitly “Do you need your phone, or do you just want it back because you’re mad at lyn?” She says to me “I want my phone.” OK take your phone and your friendship and keep them both. I know that sounds a little harsh but there is no greater offense to me than someone who I am supposed to have an equal relationship with trying to take on an authoritative role with me. I had a hard time accepting things from people for a long while because I don’t like feeling indebted for the sole purpose that I don’t want people holding things over my head. I got over that cause I figured none of my friends would do that kind of thing now that we were adults. So when she calls herself trying to discipline me by taking her phone back because she was mad at lyn that’s all I needed. I’ve got plenty of good friends I don’t need friendship under guidelines. If I had abused the phone privilege, or if I had in some way violated her, yeah take the phone back. If you need your phone and you changed your mind about letting me use it, yeah take you’re phone back. You want to discipline me and my girlfriend to show us who’s boss? Well it’s your phone. Do what you must. But I will not be disciplined by any peer of mine. I hope it was worth it to her.
So know here it is Thursday. lyn has been gone two days and I already am going crazy without her. I have never missed someone so much while still being in a relationship with them. This honestly feels just like a breakup when you look up and realize the person you spend all your time with is nowhere to be found. And you’re at the farthest point from the next time you will see them which you have no idea when that is. Most of my real friends are away and I am bored beyond belief. Without some distraction to keep me entertained it’s making my loneliness even worse while she’s up there getting all kinds of “he ain’t shit’s” from her mom. I know, I know. Woe is me, I’m crying a river. Oh well, my next post might be more upbeat if I can get a Piston win tonight or win the lottery or something.