27

T.R.I.G.L-Ten things I love in no particular order
(No one left to tag)

-Friends and Family, most especially at the moment
-Firing a pass through the lane to an open teammate
-My ipod (I never leave my Ipod in my car because if the car got stolen I would be pissed at losing the Ipod)
-My girlfriend’s face, body, smell, attention, sense of humor, love, hair follicles, toe crust, loud burps, peeing with the door open…..Etc.
-The end all be all blog, as well as a host of others (blog whispers “than why have you been ignoring me”)
-Song of Solomon
-daydreaming about winning the World series of Poker
-Looking at the outside of jail
-Police cars that pass and overtake me
-Lola Darling

Thank you to Rock and especially Shontae for the birthday wishes. Well the rumor is true I did in fact turn a whopping 27 Friday before last. Sigh. This is really getting out of hand. I actually don’t really care too much about being 27. The only significance it has is that this was my target age when I was about 20 and heard that they would be releasing prequels to Star Wars at three year intervals. The week before my birthday I had to be reminded that I had a birthday approaching in a week, But I could barely wait til the day before my birthday when Revenge of the Sith would be released. In hindsight I have to say I’m slightly disappointed. When I left the theatre (both times) I was pleased with my viewing because it didn’t let me down. But in all honesty it would have been hard for George Lucas to mess this one up for me. It was destined to be my favorite. Objectively he could have told a better story just because he had so much to work with. But anyway I’m getting bored of myself listening to Star Wars banter. Anyway being 27 sucks so far. I remember on my 25th birthday I was actually depressed the night of my birthday but then after that wasn’t so bad. But two weeks into 27 and it sucks. I’m about to whine like a spoiled little girl. I’m sure the Gian that walked into a jail twice and got shot are somewhere waiting on me to step into the wrong alley and beat some perspective into me but neither of them was around when I started this blog so it’s mine, not theirs.

-Let’s start with lyn’s mother. So let me preface this by saying that since High school I have only cared about the way my friends and family thought of me. Other than them I only marginally care about people’s opinion of me. One thing that high school taught me is that sometimes people just aren’t going to like you no matter how hard you try to make them. Once I realized this I acquired my good friend chalk and didn’t give one whit about anyone’s opinion anymore. Unfortunately I lost sight of this lesson. lyn’s graduation would be the first time I would be meeting her mom and step dad. I had heard the stories of how her mom is so unrelenting and hardass. But I wasn’t worried for a second. Talking to women is one of my strong points and I believe that if you have enough conviction you can talk anyone into anything. Well I knew that my heart and intentions were genuine so I didn’t fret. What mother wouldn’t want her daughter to be with someone so devoted to her happiness and well-being? Long story short I went well out of my way to make this woman understand how I felt and that I had nothing but the best of intention. Somehow she came away from this feeling like I was the scum of the earth. I felt bad at first. But then just plain angry. She had absolutely no reason to believe I was anything but a good person. Instead she arbitrarily decided she didn’t like me and then used a lot of trite examples to justify her case. I was upset at first but I got over it even though I could hear her disappointment everytime she asked lyn something about me. That is, until she called lyn a couple of days before my birthday and told her she wanted her to come home on the weekend to talk to her. Now what, (barring a family emergency, which it wasn’t because no one else in the family knew what it was that was so important) could she possibly need lyn to make a 7 hour round trip for that she couldn’t discuss over the phone, considering that lyn was supposed to be going home for the summer the following weekend? Exactly, she wanted to badmouth me without me being there. Among other things she said that “she really did try but she just didn’t see the good in me.” Now I can understand if you just don’t like someone. What I don’t understand is the unjustified Utter contempt she has for me. I think she’s just extremely jealous and she knows I’m a threat because her daughter has feelings for me that she can’t control. That and she’s spoiled and she doesn’t know how to handle when she doesn’t get her way. At any rate That was quite discouraging for me because I had never put forth so much effort to try to gain someone’s favor for them to decide I was a scoundrel. I mean I was making an effort to be this woman’s friend. If I’m going to be with lyn I want to have a good relationship with her family. But she took advantage of that and spurned me. The worst part about it was when my mother asked me what was bothering me and I told her about this, she all but agreed with the woman. I guess she was trying to explain to me that the woman probably didn’t mean anything personally and she was just saying that she might approach the situation the same way. But hearing my mom agree with this woman who said she didn’t see any good in me didn’t make me feel any better. At any rate lyn did not go back on Fri, as her mom had requested, since it was my birthday.

So my friend Jen calls me on Friday and I tell her that I’m hanging with lyn tonight so I can’t kick it with them for my birthday. But she’s going home tomorrow so I’ll hang tomorrow. Except that her mom is pissed because she chose to stay there with me instead of coming home so her mom calls her fussing telling her don’t bother coming home. Which means that lyn is still in town. Well of course I want to spend as much time with her as I can considering she’s leaving in a week and she’s going to DC after she leaves Nachitoches so that means I’ma kick it with her now. So me and my family went to see Revenge of the Sith again. Yeah Jen and my other friends got chalked so to speak. But Goddamn it’s my fucking birthday. Can I decide I want to be with my girlfriend and that not be a slight to our friendship, especially considering I can see you all summer while she is gone and I don’t have anyone to play with? Well that’s what I thought but apparently I was mistaken. Because when I called to explain to her and apologize for not coming out Saturday as expected I got berated. And in response to my explanation She decided to make an attack on lyn via my blog, to which lyn obviously responded. Now I did feel bad for not hanging out with them as I said I would so I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. Until I got a call from her later that evening. Jen had been letting me use one of her cell phones. I decided against paying my bill last month mostly because I didn’t really feel like hearing from any of my friends who I knew would all be telling me to leave lyn. I was in no mood for giving explanations or getting harassed so I let the bill lapse. Jen offered me her phone in the mean time which I accepted. But then on the evening of their little comment exchange she calls me telling me she is trying to reclaim her phone. I call her back and ask her very explicitly “Do you need your phone, or do you just want it back because you’re mad at lyn?” She says to me “I want my phone.” OK take your phone and your friendship and keep them both. I know that sounds a little harsh but there is no greater offense to me than someone who I am supposed to have an equal relationship with trying to take on an authoritative role with me. I had a hard time accepting things from people for a long while because I don’t like feeling indebted for the sole purpose that I don’t want people holding things over my head. I got over that cause I figured none of my friends would do that kind of thing now that we were adults. So when she calls herself trying to discipline me by taking her phone back because she was mad at lyn that’s all I needed. I’ve got plenty of good friends I don’t need friendship under guidelines. If I had abused the phone privilege, or if I had in some way violated her, yeah take the phone back. If you need your phone and you changed your mind about letting me use it, yeah take you’re phone back. You want to discipline me and my girlfriend to show us who’s boss? Well it’s your phone. Do what you must. But I will not be disciplined by any peer of mine. I hope it was worth it to her.

So know here it is Thursday. lyn has been gone two days and I already am going crazy without her. I have never missed someone so much while still being in a relationship with them. This honestly feels just like a breakup when you look up and realize the person you spend all your time with is nowhere to be found. And you’re at the farthest point from the next time you will see them which you have no idea when that is. Most of my real friends are away and I am bored beyond belief. Without some distraction to keep me entertained it’s making my loneliness even worse while she’s up there getting all kinds of “he ain’t shit’s” from her mom. I know, I know. Woe is me, I’m crying a river. Oh well, my next post might be more upbeat if I can get a Piston win tonight or win the lottery or something.

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19 responses to “27

  1. First of all I wouldn’t hold my breath for that Pistons win, get on the Heat bandwagon or find another sport to watch. Secondly a week from now when I turn 27 (read as get old) I think i’ll hang out with my girlfriend too….if I had one. Anyway if you can make sure that my B-day is as good as it was last year I’d be very appreciative!and once again…sorry about them pistons.

  2. I love Songs of Solomon!It doesn’t sound like your girl, Jen, was trying to discipline you by asking for her phone back. It sounds like she was hurt and she felt there was no other way for her to express it to you. It was your birthday weekend, a special time usually spent with special people. Were your friends not special enough? Did their feelings matter? Granted, I understand wanting to be with your “most special one” and your friends should understand that too. On the flip side, can you understand their reactions? I once told an old friend of mine who I used to spend a lot of time with that since he got a girlfriend we wouldn’t be spending so much time together. He denied it and acted in disbelief. But I knew it would happen regardless and prepared myself for it. They’ve been married now for over 5 years and we rarely see each other, but it’s all good. He’s still one of my buds. Don’t write your friend off so quick is all I’m sayin.

  3. Of course I can which is why I apologized in the first place. But she didn’t ask for the phone back when I talked to her after my birthday. She asked for her phone back after what I talked to her about motivated her to comment on my blog and then she didn’t like the response that her comment drew. That being said it still wouldn’t have mattered if she was taking the phone back because she was mad that I didn’t hang out with them that weekend or the real reason why she did it. The point is I’m not a child and more specifically I’m not her child so don’t treat me like one unless you don’t want us to be friends.

  4. I am sorry you are so down at the moment. I hope you will feel better soon! I can see why you are upset with your friend. In my opinion, I think she should have said what she said to you personally and not on your blog for everyone to see. Is your girlfriend going to come back after the summer? She graduated right? Anyway, good luck with the friends/girlfriend/boredom situation. I would say good luck with the Pistons, but I am pulling for the Heat this time, lol!

  5. Man it’s some drama up in this thang! I’ve been stopping by your page recently and I think this is the first time I am commenting. I mostly keep coming back because I LOVE to hear a black man speak so highly of their woman. It’s so evident how much you love her and that’s something I respect. “I had a hard time accepting things from people for long while because I don’t like feeling indebted for the sole purpose that I don’t want people holding things over my head.” This is something that would come straight out of my mouth. That sh*t pisses me off to no end and once someone does that, they are CUT off IMMEDIATELY. Perhaps that’s not the best thing, but that’s just me I can’t control it. And don’t feel crazy about missin your girl even while you’re together . . my boyfriend and I have been doing the long distance thing for 3 and a half years. He was in West Virgina, I was in Tennessee and then I was in New York. I used to cry whenever we left each other and it got harder each time – I thought I was going crazy. Ok, I’ll end the novel here, but i’ll definately be back!

  6. Hey dawg. Well, at the very least the Pistons have extended the series. Sorry Miami. You guys are going down. And as fast as time goes nowadays, I know you miss that lady man, but she’ll be back before you know it. That’s one thing we can rely on right now. Time and it’s speed to get through things. Even when we’re going through some misery. Take it from someone who’s been there. Keep that head up man.

  7. hi sweetness. lola, huh? anyway, good post. i found it very entertaining. i’m absolutely miserable without you up here, but i’m sure you already know that. last night, i couldn’t even fall asleep for forever because i couldn’t stop thinking of you. i miss you so much. i really don’t have too much to say regarding the whole ‘mom’ portion of your post. as far as your ‘friendship’ is concerned, you know how i feel about it and you know how i feel about her. all i can say is, if she was REALLY your friend, she’d understand that sometimes when we enter into relationships, especially those where we have limited time to spend with our significant other, we tend to spend more time and devote more attention to our relationship and sometimes friends do get slighted, although not necessarily intentionally. now, the whole phone situation was a bit f’ed up. i guess she thought that by taking her phone back, she would somehow be limiting your contact with me. um, hello? we were basically living together. but whatever. that’s neither here nor there. i’m sorry that you’ve lost a friend cause that sucks no matter what, but i’m definitely not sorry to see her go. anyway, i love you baby and i miss you terribly!! hope you don’t mind my commenting.

  8. Hey Gian. It was nice to finally meet you at Pepper’s b-day dinner. Up until them you were a phantom who came up in BG stories, and who my Aunt inquired about after your absence from my “welcome-to-NO” party. Now, of course you know I’m partial cuz family comes first…but I have what I hope is an impartial question. If the point of a b’day is to spend time with those you care about, why couldn’t you do just that, like we did for Tiff’s b-Day?

  9. Hey Nisa, it was good to meet you too. Aunt Lauren is one of my favorite surrogate aunts. How’s your little saxophonist doing? Anyway, I do agree with you that Birthdays are the time to spend with loved ones. I’m all about making time for the fam and friends. But I also believe that it being my birthday it’s also my discretion. So I don’t really feel like I owe it to anyone (except parents) to spend time with them on my birthday. I hate that it is this way, but the situation is extremely difficult. Kawagalyn is gone now. She’s back home in Nachitoches which is about a 4 hour drive in my car. and she will be promptly moving to DC to go to Howard for the next 4 years for dental school. I’ll probably see her less times than I can count on one hand this summer, and who knows at what volume once she’s gone to school. So I don’t feel like it’s too much to ask that I be allowed to spend our last week together only with her even if it does overlap my birthday. And I expressed very clearly to Jen that once Kawagalyn was gone I would spend as much time with her and the rest of you guys as you all could tolerate of me. It seemed that she understood me and that she wasn’t upset with me but then she became upset at Kawagalyn because of it and lashed out at her on my comments, which obviously Kawagalyn reads so she would necessairily respond to it. And then gets mad at me because Kawagalyn counterattacked, as if I was the one writing the comment under Kawagalyn’s blog name. I am by no means saying I’ve been a good friend lately, but I’ve been having a hard time dealing with a lot of issues sorrounding this relationship, and its worn me down. All I want is the path of least resistance. All I asked from her was a little more patience, instead I got chalked up.

  10. WARNING-longLest we forget – selective memory is a Bitch!Well the last blog should have been titled -now I’m going to bash my ex-bffMost of this will seem confusing to the rest of ya’ll…especially the ‘girl’…On the nite in question, of which you called me from your girl’s phone (i’m sure you deleted it b/4 she could see it, like you said you would) We had a VERY PRIVATE conversation in which you asked a (BIG) favor of me. B/C i have some respect about my self, we’ll leave at that that for that part of the convo….First ‘she’…i don’t know her, i never met her, how can i not like her? Just b/c she plays that crap, I’m not stooping to that level. I have no reason not to like her, its your dumbass!…jeezmNow back to the night…so you share your troubles and in order for me to ‘perform’ the ‘favor’ you need a phone, so i pony up mine!! Willingly mind you. I invite you to meet me at Puccino’s where I’m studying. I asked you, ‘when can i expect to get my phone back? When are you going to pay that bill?’ you said, ‘i should be able to pay it when my birthday comes’ you remember your birthday, right? It came and went, no courtasy call, no gian, no celebration, and no phone. Of course I didn’t hear from you for 3 days (some fucking friend, he’s got my phone, he doesn’t return my calls, and doesn’t answer when i call)…So when i get a little rattled and your explanation sux, i post a blog..and ‘she’ replies back..how FUCKING UNGRATEFUL YOU BOTH ARE!!! FUCKING UNGRATEFUL ASSES! Anyone of you whose felt used up by a friend knows how fustrating this is. I would have given you a car if i had one to lend!! FUCK! anyhow, ANDALL this ‘honest’ shit..is just that, shit. You’ve been more full of it the last 4 months than you ever were. THE ONLY person I don’t like right now is you.I could giv a SHIT what ‘she’ thinks about me. (i guess we are the same in that respect) but your ass takes the cake. Sorry you have no friends to hang out with…but whose fault is that?Take her mom’s advice, take your mom’s advice, take your dad’s advice, take K.F’s advice, take Mo’s advice…but for GOD’s sake, why would you take the advice of a 21-22 year old barely graduated from college, -you obviously in dumb fuck love with – her momma won’t except your ass’ her advice? Could you please stop flushing your ego down the toilet for punch drunk-love? Get a grip G. Go see the swinger in Houston…something…you’ve lost your mind dude. Don’t fucking call into question my loyalties as a friend. Your the only one whose slipped here. take a look in the mirror. Would you be your own friend, the way you’ve been behaving lately???? Fucking check yourself b/4 you start pointing fingers. Take your friendship…its been nonexistent anyways.

  11. It seems as if you think you’re trying to blow up my spot or something Jen. But it’s probably in your best interest not to come on here talking shit. I am not going to do this but you really don’t want to get into any verbal warfare about people doing dumb shit because they’re in love. Doing shit for dumb fuck love is probably contagious. Furthermore don’t try to play the helpless victim role. “His explaination sux so I post a blog about it and she replies back.” Are you kidding? You make it sound like you were just offering your opinion in a polite respectful way. How does that in anyway make me ungrateful? And what did you expect would happen? Be serious. As far as you feeling neglected and feeling like I wasn’t being a good friend I attested to all of that in our last phone call. I offered my sincerest apology and a promise to mend things shortly. You know this to be true. But apparently my apologies and assurances weren’t good enough for you. I was never ingrateful for anything you’ve ever done for me. I’ve always applauded everything you’ve done for me. But if you step on my toes just because you do me a favor you goddamn right I’ma speak on it. So if you consider it a gesture of gratitude to take whatever treatment you give me in spite of me apologizing to you then I’m ingrateful and I hope I’m never gracious.

  12. happy belated 27th birthday!!! 27 is OLD well to me it is….even tho thats just 4 years older than me…..i hope you had a good time…now as for all this mess going on this blog, i dont think ya’ll should be sharing ALL ya’ll personal business on it…i mean between you, koko, and ya friend….but then again it is a blog, so *shrugs*…but this is a bit too much….why don’t ya’ll just sit down and all talk….put your feelings on the table…have a mediator (sp)….so it wont be like someone’s taking someone’s else’s side…you guys are adult…i hate to see folks not getting along….instead of ya’ll attacking each other on it, just sit down and have lunch and a mature conversation….PLEASE for the love of GOD! lol 🙂

  13. This shit here is crazy. It seems Gian likes favors and his girlfriend needs to find out what kind. I have an idea, but I digress. All this writing back and forth instead of talking face to face is a bit immature. Handle this like adults. Koko,do you really not like a girl you have never met? I would look into that. I’m sure this is not the first time you have felt this way. You guys need to stop this nonsense. Reading about this relationship is tiring and reading your girlfriends insecurities is worse. She can’t be that mad about you seeing your friends and she had someone playing with her “sweater kittens”. I’m sure they will be played with alot once she’s off to school. So why would you risk friendships? This here is nutz.If this cannot be resolved why don’t you have a girlfight. Make money off these chics!

  14. how bout those pistons, boi?? it’s nice that they made it to the finals and all, but you know now i’ve gotta switch over and cheer against you cause it’s all about them spurs, baby! and i forgot to say before, nice list. oh, and last night i had to watch poker ALL BY MYSELF! it was really good though anyway! later babe!

  15. Sherry and I have been swingers for a long time and are interested in black swinger. If you are interested in black swinger then you should check out black swinger

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