Be ashamed, Be very ashamed.

Please family, welcome some of my new favorite bloggers. My cousin (and sometimes roomate) Lee. A new “blog couple” featuring my friend Kibwe, who I’m sure you’ll find more than entertaining and insightful. If you like my blog you’ll love his. notewhen I would serenade Diggs with “Adore” on more than one occassion in our college days, Kibwe formed the other half of our duet. And the other half Kenesha who’s strong opinions about male/female dynamics will surely draw more than a few “Amens.” And my very dear friend Koko who in her short time here has already had some mid-season blog worthy events. They’re on my blogroll so check them out. I’m sure that you’ll be entertained.

So this weekend I did something really bad. I mentioned I’ve done some dispicable things before but never gone into detail. So in Humanity critic type fashion I’ll give you a few instances of my most shameful moments.

I have recently started dating lyn fairly seriously. I’ve known the lady for a while so when things started to get serious pretty fast it was reasonable. However, I had made the acquaintance of Des in the not too distant past and had made arrangements for her to come down here to hang out. Everyone involved was aware of the circumstances initially, but with each passing day, and my feelings growing stronger for the Lyn, it became increasingly hard to express to Des the level of relationship I was in. I was pretty sure it was too late to tell her to refund her ticket and didn’t want to suggest to her that she do so in case it was too late. I figured I could juggle the situation for a couple of days without it being too much of a problem. Of course if I was right about that there would be no story. Our first day wasn’t so bad. I explained, to Des, in more detail how I felt about lyn. The next morning she woke up and told me she was ok with everything. So I’m like cool. I happened to have an intramural basketball game that Friday which Lyn was becoming a regular at. So in my benevolent wisdom I figured it wouldn’t be so bad if I told Lyn about the game since Des said she was cool with it. However, what slipped my mind was that Des had also said that she was fine with the situation as long as she “didn’t have ol girl in her face.” She blew a gasket when I told her lyn was coming and grew more angry with each passing moment that she was in eyesight. After Des gave me a pretty stern lecture I felt pretty bad. Sometimes you do dumb shit when you just don’t think things all the way through. I won’t discuss the events that followed for privacy reasons But let’s just say that 1. I don’t feel nearly as bad anymore about being so inconsiderate. 2. Des’ trip ended much earlier than expected. 3. Nobody got physically hurt and everything is in its’ proper place.

So I mentioned somewhere in here before that when something gets my attention I’m usually pretty obsesive about it. Well there was a time when I hadn’t accepted this about myself and I would sometimes worry that my obsessive behaviors were indicative of addictions. And there was an instance where I was worried that I was addicted to poker. I had started playing poker when I was 20 and in the casino at 21. It easily became my favorite pastime. I would spend hours upon consecutive hours playing poker. There were more than one occassion when I spent more than 20 consecutive hours sitting at a poker table. Mid October the jackpot for the poker room climbed to 30,000 dollars. I’ll spare you the details of how the jackpot works but let it be known that I would have the chance to win 15,000 of that for myself, and just being at the table when it happened would entitle me anywhere from 900-2500 dollars. So I was in there everyday for a week playing poker making sure I diddn’t miss out. The weekend came around which meant more games. I knew that the jackpot was going to be hit that weekend and I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to at least be in the room to give myself a chance. So Friday night I had been there for about 10 hours or so when the jackpot was hit. And no I was not at the table that got the money. I felt that I was spending too much time playing poker that week and I promised myself I wouldn’t come back for at least a week once the jackpot was hit. So know with the inevitability of not being able to go back and play for a week I decided I would wear out my welcome that night til I was ready to leave. I swear I played til I couldn’t see anymore. I was so sleepy when I went home the next morning I could barely drive home. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up til almost 8 o’clock at night. The problem was that I had been so caught up playing cards over the course of that week I didn’t even realize that it was now October 20, my mom’s birthday. I felt so bad. I mean I am not really good with knowing what day of the month it is in general but I always know when a birthday is approaching. And I woke up in the middle of the night, giftless. My mom didn’t really notice but I still felt really bad and it was a long time before I went into a poker room again.

I’m not going to talk about cheating here. That’s a blog of its own. But man yall are going to hate me when ya’ll see some of the things I’ve done.

Saintsation lawd
So me and Lee have an interesting history. I don’t always necessairily agree with them all the time but my friends would have me believe that I’ve done Lee wrong several times. They’re over-reacting but there was one time where I did feel pretty bad. A hurrican was making it’s way to New Orleans so me and my friends decided to migrate to Houston. However we decided at about the same time as the rest of the city of New Orleans so after 7 hours on the road we found ourselves in Baton Rouge. For those of you unfamiliar with the geography of Louisiana Baton Rouge is about 75 miles from Downtown New Orleans. We just decided to crash there but we were going to at least make a party out of it so we called everyone we knew in BR which included Sweet, sweet Annick. Sweet, Sweet Annick had developed somewhat of a reputation, but she’s a sweet girl (although the title sweet, sweet has nothing to do with her personality and actually is a term we save for the sexually promiscuous) so I will begrudgingly refrain from any Sweet Annick background info. Sweet Annick was also a very pretty girl so when Brenton found out that she was a saintsation (Dancer for the Saints) he would always refer to her as “Saintsation Lawd.” Well the pack of us went to visit her on one our eveinging in B.R. I had known her for since our college days by this point and we were pretty familiar. She seemed to be extra friendly to me while we were in her apartment. I didn’t really give it too much thought because Sweet, sweet Annick is usually attracted to people with some kind of staus. Like one of the more popular musicians of our present generation as well as some professional football players sprinkled here and there. Yes I am Gian. But no, not everyone knows that so I didn’t really think too much of it til she called me and asked me if I wanted to come back over after everyone had left. Me and Cook were on the way to see these other two girl we were friends with but I told him to just drop me off over there. But before I could get away from the Dorm we were staying in Lee was already in the process of asking me for Annick’s number. Now I knew that Annick wouldn’t be interested in Lee so I tried my hardest to ignore him when he kept calling me to get her number. Lee at this time had a tendency to bark up the wrong trees. I was sitting at Annick’s house talking to her when for no particular reason a knock rang from the door. It wasn’t m house so I was relatively unconcerned til I realized that it was in fact Lee who had taken the initiative to come over since I failed to give him the number. Imagine the instant when Lee realized that it was my boot he saw attached to the man sitting on the sofa. I felt terrible. He walked away after about 5 seconds at the door and I left not too long afterwards.

Open mouth, insert foot

I was 15 years old, and sadly in love. I had absolutely no idea how to talk to girls. I was shy for most of my life and had only recently been opened up to the idea of talking to girls. I was standing in a circle of my friends and God knows what we were talking about. But then the object of my affection walked up to us. Thais (middle) is the fair skinned one. Her mother was black and her father was white. Not that this ever mattered to me, and not that it ever came up. But when she approached I got really nervous and in an effort to joke with her in a teasing way I just said the first thing that came to mind. “No half breeds allowed!” I didn’t slap myself afterwards, but the look on her face hurt enough. I apologized later and she accepted after a while but it still ranks high on my list of blunders all time.


20 responses to “Be ashamed, Be very ashamed.

  1. I had to leave right in the middle of writing so I just published it to make sure I didn’t lose everything I had. I probably didn’t do it much justice anyway since I was rushing trying to finish the blog when I got back.

  2. What’s up brother? Here’s welcoming your extended family to the blogfold. As you described your story at the poker table, I thought about the show TILT on ESPN and the long hours some of the characters spent at the tables rocking the cards for hours. Go ahead with yourself being the card connoisseur! At least it was just a unfortunate incident that you learned from. Take it ez on yourself my man.

  3. Hey brotherman… I hear ya on the awkwardness of it all (the ‘blurting out something silly to your crush’). Can totally relate!

  4. Poor girl who got sent home. Poor friend who found you at that girl’s house. Poor girl you embarassed and talked about because you were nervous.That said, we’re all human. Hopefully none of the people involved think back on those events with much intense negativity…. or at least over time won’t

  5. boy, why you just didnt tell that girl ahead of time? lol, see, i might wouldve gotten mad to…been like “i wish he wouldve told me this earlier…” that is kinda bogus with your cuz, but then again, i dont know…as for that girl…wow@saying that…see if i see someone i like, i cant seem to get anything out my mouth, i just turn into a mute…stop by my blog, i want you to see this picture on there…

  6. maybe it’s just me, but i don’t see how you did lee so wrong. she was fair game and diggin you.. well maybe you could have answered the phone and told him tho…

  7. dang g, messed up situations. i thought it was cool that you were up front and honest about the k situation to des. glad your happier now.

  8. I’ve got to go with Brutha on this, the only thing you did wrong was not letting me know the deal. I felt like the biggest idiot for having “taken some initiative” when I saw that you were over there.

  9. These weren’t too bad; I can think of many more shameful experiences that I could write about, but I don’t want to have everybody laughing at me; I have too much pride for that.

  10. akward situation, but you were honest about it. so the chick who went home early has no one to blame than herself for not being honest.

  11. Awww Gian. “No half-breeds allowed!”? *smh*I’ve done that before too, though. It was to an asian boy in my 6th grade class and I felt so bad IMMEDIATELY afterwards. My teacher was like “Chevonne, I’ve never heard anything like that from you” *hanging head in shame*Yeah, I really put my foot in my mouth that day.

  12. I keep coming back…ready to make some pseudo-intelligent comment, but all I keep thinking is…G has a girlfriend. Mr. Women-Are-Scandalous has a girlfriend. I might come back with something else to say, but for now…G has a girlfriend?

  13. Yeah, you’re pretty much a jerk. Although it seems you are an unintentional jerk. None of those instances seemed like you acted to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. So you’re off the hook.

  14. @Luke Yeah man, Poker is a game that requires soe long hours most of the time. Most of the game is about patience and waiting for the right opportuity. Apparently sometimes that opportunity never showed up for me though.@Solitaire I expect to hear your story pretty soon then.@Anit well Des does. She actually called me the other day to complain about me writing about it. I was like I didnt’ even write anything bad. Most of the writing was me apolgizing for being stupid. Thais got over it that day with incessant apologizing and my mom never even realized I had forgotten since when she woke me up we went to dinner. SHe figured I just didn’t have any money to get her anything til I got her something the next day. And Lee says out his mouth that it didn’t bother him but who knows with that character (who’s probably reading this)@Toya I really wanted to tell her but I was just hoping that I could not get around not talking about my significant in front of her except that her face kept appearing on my blog and I would have felt like I was lying not to address it honestly.@Brutha It actualy has more to do with me and Lee’s history than anything else. People seem to polute his brain with the idea that steal girls form him. This was kind of a fuel to the fire thing even though it, as is everything else is a misunderstanding.@Jazz I was upfront I just wasn’t upfront enough early enough. But you live and you learn.@Lee don’t worry. You are the biggest idiot but not for that.@Tweety Sade said love is stronger than pride. I don’t know what love has to do with it but I want to hear some embarassing stories out of you.@ Dina well really I don’t feel that she has anything to blame herself about as far as what went down up until we were at the gym. I know that she would agree with that because she’s told me so many, many times in spite of my constant apologizing.@Jonetsu dang bruh, why you gotta think the worst about ya boy. I got morals.@Chevonne when I think of it now it’s the funniest thing. I mean what a dumb thing to say. I had been liking this girl for months at the time. One would think I would be well over the phase of just saying the first thing that comes out my mouth to her.@Diggs At what point did you see the word girlfriend anywhere in my blog? (waiting for you to scroll back through it) Exactly. I already told you abut her. She’s real particular about that kind of thing. She’s not one to be tied down.@Soul I accept that title. Now when you see my post about cheating you’ll come back with “you’re an asshole.” At which time I will humbly bow my head in agreement.

  15. Well no, I didn’t see the word “girlfriend.” I already knew about the Lyn, but the way that u have been writing lately seemed to imply that the specifics of ya’lls relationship had changed.

  16. You did the right thing by telling Des how you felt about this girl but don’t you think you waited to long to tell her how you felt..Anyway what’s up with the public apology… is that for Des or for you.

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