What she doesn’t know and won’t til she reads this is that I wanted her to read it. That’s why I left the window open. So Pbsssst (sticking tongue out). It was actually a favor to her because I know she wants to know what’s going on in my life (my mom is real nosey). But she doesn’t want to ask me my buisness cause I’m an adult, or at least I’m as old as one. What’s really funny is that Chevonne’s last post inspired a comment, about my mom, from me that was about to turn into a blog. So I just came straight here instead. I was in the process of writing when my mom called me to chastize me for using people’s last names. I told her the same thing I’ma tell ya’ll. This is my Blog. Anyone who wants to can start an anti-Gian SMITH blog and use as many pseudonyms as they want to talk about how stupid I am. I promise I will blog roll you and comment when needed. As for this cyberspace, I only omit names when I feel the privacy is warranted. i.e. in my post about why women are scandalous, in my Michele MOORE story I was very careful not to mention the name of my friend who might be embarassed by having taken her out and the results from it. However Michele MOORE receives no grace from me for being scandalous. Justice will be served here at the “End all be all.” Anyway I’m getting off task.
December 27, 1996
I was 18 years old at the time. I had just finished my first semester of College. I was still living at home with my family. On this particular evening I was sitting in my room with my cousin Adele WILLIAMS. We don’t have the same relationship I have with my sister but she’s close like a sister. I don’t know what we might have been talking about but in walks my dad with a stern look on his face.
Dad: I thought you said you were going to buy a new basketball rim for Christmas.
pause Me and my friends had broken the old rim in my backyard from dunking on it too much. Yeah I’m short but back in my day I had hops. I had told him that I would replace the rim as a Christmas present. But then while doing my Christmas shopping I found a good joint gift for him and my mom. My mom is easy to shop for because she doesn’t have that varying of interest and is easy to please. But I get bored buying her a book or some bath and Body works crap every year And my dad is easy to shop for because he doesn’t want anything. But I would only get nothing if I was flat broke so I decided to get them a cd player for their room. I still intended on replacing the rim but I felt like since I broke it that wasn’t really a Christmas present. resume
G: Yeah, but I decided I wanted to get ya’ll something else.
D: (authoritatively) well you’re going to replace that rim.
I don’t know where this chip on my shoulder comes from. Maybe it’s Napoleon complex or maybe it’s cause my parents are so stubborn, but I cannot stand being talked down to. Of course I had been being disciplined by them my whole life but it had been a while since I had gotten a nice “You’re still a child” tone. And in front of my cousin no less. So I went politely downstairs to address this issue. I met him in the kitchen. I can’t remember how I might have started the conversation but I know I wasn’t even finished with my first sentence when my mother, who wasn’t even privy to the initial confrontation, cut me off. Now in my old age I realize why it is so important for parents to unify when it comes to disciplining their children. It used to quite bother me when my mother would stick up for my dad when I felt he was wrong. I see now that conflicting views can create doubt in children’s mind. The kind of doubt and questioning that leads to insubordination. A family should be like the millitary. Your commanding officers do not express grievances in front of you because they need their soldiers to not have any moment of pause when carrying out an order. But at this point I was a not so rebellious teen but still dealing with angst, conformity issues, my first real relationship, and trying to adjust to college life. So I didn’t want to hear any of that captain of the ship BS. I know I’ve said nothing but nice things about my mom so far on my blog but she’s a fireball. She’s not mean but she can get nasty, and her temper turns quick. So she interrupted my diatribe to my dad with a “You need to shutup.” Coming down the stairs was like the point of no return for me. This was the instant I would demand my liberty as an adult and so I wasn’t about to back down to either one of them. I told my mom something like “I have something to say, so I’m going to say it.” my mom replied “You need to shut up, or get the fuck out of my house.” So I’m pissed. They aren’t going to listen to me? Fine. I turn to go upstairs so I can prepare to leave and I say. “Alright, I guess I need to get the fuck out of this house.” Now I had never cursed in front of my mom, and still don’t, much less to her. But I was heated. I didn’t say it to her face and wouldn’t have even turned around to see her reaction, excpet for the footsteps I heard charging behind me. I turned around and was swiftly greeted by an open hand fist squa on my nose. For all the fights I’ve been in in m life time I promised you no man has ever landed a face shot. So when I got tagged I couldn’t do anything but sit there in a state of shock. My dad had to come out to restrain her but there was no restraining me. I started screaming at the top of my lungs, “I’m bout to get the FUCK out this house.” And I called my friend Brenton and that’s what I did. For brevity’s sake I will spare you the details of the time I spent staying with Brenton except to say that you should all do yourself a favor and never room with an only child after he’s reached 18. Anyway, a couple of days later it was New Years eve. I went by my girlfriend at the time tahnika HAGANS. I had arranged for my friends to come get me at midnight because her mom was very strict and didn’t want me there all night. Now me and my family have had a lot of traditions. Over the years some of them have fallen by the wayside. But my favorite that we still have is that we spend the New Year together and we toast with Champagne. Even now that I’m old and there’s always something going on for New Years I am always home when the clock strikes twelve even if it means leaving my party and going back. This however was to be the first New Years spent without my family. I had been away for four days now and hadn’t contacted anyone. But I wanted to talk to my sister since she wasn’t a part of this. I called her and we talked for two minutes or so. I was still very angry with my parents but like I’ve said I can’t hold grudges so I told her to wish them Happy New Years for me. When I said that, after hanging up the phone, I realized how much I missed them. I sat silently next to Tahnika while we watched some music videos. My friends insisted that no one could come and get me. At the time only two of us were driving and that was back before we realized how small New Orleans is and it was a big deal to leave uptown to come to the east. I was stranded by my friends, lonely, miserable and homeless. I had never been so down. I mean I started to cry. I don’t mean sobbing, I mean all out, face ugly, soaked cheeks bawling. That was the worst momment of my life, and the worst day up to that point. I ended up moving out of Brenton’s parent’s house and into a hotel astragning myself from friends and family who felt had all let me down. I had put a deposit down on an apartment which I was going to move into with Tahnika, even though God knows I did not want to share living space with that girl. It wasn’t until my Friend Brandon came seeking me out and told me that my parents had requested to see me. Basically my mom told me that she didn’t want me struggling to survive and trying to get through college like she did. That the whole point of her working so hard was to make a better situation for my sister and I and that she wanted me to come back. Well, she had me at hello. So after that we had six years of symbiotic co-existence. And now we have a good, adult relationship except for the fact that they probably take care of me more now than then.