That quote was uttered by Ed Norton in the movie “Rounders.” for those of you unfamiliar with Poker terminology the rake is the cut of the pot that the house takes basically just for being there. In my last few posts I felt I was not really forthcoming enough in the responsibilities women have in their own demise. Furthermore, I spent a lot of time talking about how guys are scum but I didn’t really get into why girls are scandalous. Well with the rekindled fire of my contempt for girls just recently set ablaze what better time than the present? Everything I share with you is an actual event.
Why I don’t date women I don’t know
Two stories here. I have a friend Jamylah. She was “dating” this guy named Mike, and by dating I mean she would go over to his house after midnight so they could “hang out” and by Hang out I mean make out. You may have noticed that nowhere in this definition of the word dating have I included the word date. That’s not an oversight on my part. Obviously Mike was “Dating” other girls, probably as many as he could manage. Jamylah in an attempt to be more proactive about her own dating life goes out on a date with another guy whose name escapes me. While on a date with the new guy Mike calls. She excuses herself to the restroom where in an attempt to make Mike jealous she discloses that she is on a date.
Mike: Where you at?
Jamylah: (happy that he inquired) on a date
M: (nonchalantly) Oh word? Where ya’ll at.
J: (Thinking that he has fallen victim to her trap) We’re at Bennigan’s.
M: Get that nigga to get me a sandwich.
So Jamylah goes back to the table and very politely asks the gentleman she’s on a date with if he would please get her an extra sandwich for her brother at home who had just called. The young man, trying to impress her, obliges and drops her off back at her house without so much as a goodbye kiss. When the coast is clear she runs out to her car and the only thing that’s quicker than her getting to Mike’s house is the time it takes to get her tongue down his throat when she arrives.
There is this girl I went to College with named Michele. There are many a Michele story to amuse us but I’ll save those for another day. There was one in particular that angered me. Michele spent a good deal of time complaining to me and Kibwe about how she could never find a good guy. All guys ever want her for is sex. Mind you she was currently in an “exclusive” sexual relationship with a Tulane football player. And by exclusive I meant he was the only person she was having sex with, and she was one girl among many including his girlfriend that Michele was aware of. SCANDALOUS! But I digress. A friend of mine took a romantic interest in Michele for what reason I do not know. One Friday night he took her and one of his friends out for the evening. They went to dinner and then they decided to go to a club afterwards. So my friend pays for the three of them to go in. They’re having a nice time when Michele wanders off to the dance floor to find who else, but the football player she’s exclusive with. So after dancing and getting heated the football player invites her home with him to consummate their date. And she leaves my poor friend at the club with his boy sitting there watching all this take place to go fuck some dude with a girlfriend. God bless! I mean for real. His boy was there. Can it have been more embarrassing? These two examples are the soul reason why I do not date girls I do not know very well.
Why I don’t trust the women I do know
Two stories here also. The first one is simple. My ex-girlfriend Antoinette who happens to now be a very good platonic friend of mine, were in the process of courting each other. Now I am not a significantly jealous person by nature. But I have had some things which I will discuss in my next section that make it imperative for me that I know everything about a woman before I get emotionally attached. However because I’m so analytical and I evaluate so much data a lot of women can’t understand that and they think that I am more sensitive than I am. What they don’t understand is that I’m not sensitive about their emotions. I’m sensitive about their lying and deception. So Antoinette seemed like a good fit for me because she was very forthcoming about her dealings with other guys. There was a man she had met via the internet about the same time she met me. Apparently they had made arrangements to see each other before me and her started getting serious. She offered to me without any inquisition on my part the full story of what happened on the day they spent together. According to her they met at the mall, walked around for a while and then went back to his hotel. He was in town on business. They hung around there for a while but nothing happened and finally she excused herself under the guise that it was her brother’s birthday. Quite blameless right? Well needless to say there were some things that came up during the course of our relationship that made me not be able to trust her. So when I did actually inquire about this incident on my own the story changed. Over the course of the year we were together I heard 8 different versions of the story until the last installment which I’m not even sure is true went something like this. After leaving the mall they went back to his hotel where he massaged her while she sat between his legs and then she reciprocated with a massage of her own. When it was time to leave they embraced and he kissed her on her stomach which “felt so good” to quote her, and she cannot remember if they kissed goodbye. Now that’s some perspective fa yo ass. Every time she told the story she insisted that she had just forgotten whatever new detail there was in the initial telling. What she meant by that was she had forgotten to omit the right details with each new telling.
The “Nappy-headed ex-girlfriend.” Our saga begins mid-April of 2002. We started dating very soon after Antoinette and I broke up. This being a rebound relationship things started to move very fast. But I still made sure to take the necessary precautions, or so I felt. I explained to her that a very big role in mine and Antoinette’s breakup was my lack of trust. It was very important that she be honest and forthcoming with me because of that. Of course she promised she would be. Me still being on this emotional rollercoaster from my last relationship allowed my desire to believe her make my decision for me. So then on May 30 I asked her to be my girlfriend. I remember this date well not because of the significance to the beginning of our relationship but because of the significance to the end of it. On May 31 I woke up in her room. And the first thing that meets my eyes is the name Quincy Gamble on her computer screen. Instinctively because I’m nosey my eyes wander over a sentence that I can’t quite make out if it is real or part of a dream, nor can I remember with any remarkable accuracy but I know there’s something disturbing about it. I dismiss it in my sleepiness and close my eyes. Later on in the day we are leaving my house to go on a weekend trip to Pensacola. Like I mentioned before I used to be a very good boyfriend once upon a time. She gets up from checking her email and we go to get in the car. I remember that I left something in the room so I go back inside to get it. Well when I walk in low and behold her email account is sitting there minimized but still accessible. I’m not ashamed to say that I open the window and read the email from earlier that morning that I was unsure of. Now Alana told me that she had stopped corresponding with this ex of hers. So imagine my chagrin just finding out the untruth of that. Well there were very many disturbing things about this email thread which dated as far back as the beginning of May, but still in the time frame we were dating, but the one that stuck with me the most was a reply sent earlier that day May 31 (the end of our relationship) that read something to the effect of:
You want to know if I feel we belong together? If you had asked me a year ago I would have said yes. Six months ago I would have said no. Now…I don’t know.
Fuck you mean you don’t know? Raggedy Bitch! If you are my girlfriend, a term I don’t throw around lightly, you better damn well sure know if you belong with some other nigga or not before you tell me you want to be with me. So I made a printout of the email thread for her. I went outside and asked her to come back in the house with me.
Gian: Is there something you want to tell me?
Nappy headed ex-girlfriend: No
G: (repeat 4x, each time becoming more enraged) are you sure you don’t have something to say to me?
NHEG: No (still confused)
G: You don’t want to say anything about an email exchange between you and Quincy?
NHEG: (Now nervous, but still refusing to give up her stance) No
G: (Pulling out the email printout and showing her) Let me ask you one last time are you sure you don’t have something to say to me?
NHEG: (Knowing she’s busted but still being defiant) No
G: (now reading email) blah blah….now I don’t know. So is there anything you want to tell me?
NHEG: (tears welling up) No
G: (Going towards car to get bags unpacked) Alright. Get the fuck out.
our relationship died on that day but it didn’t cease. I was already emotionally invested and I knew my feelings weren’t going anywhere so we continued to see each other for a year afterwards. In that time of course there were more lies and omissions from her. Sometimes she would lie about an incident. I would spend an hour busting her lie, at which time she’d finally admit wrongdoing. Then she’d have the nerve to lie about the exact same thing a week later as if I forgot that we established that she was lying. I mean she was straight up pathological.
How they get you
It’s always when you least expect it they pull the rug right out from under you. If there’s one thing a woman can’t compute it’s the absence of conflict. Women want to argue because if there is nothing to fight about they feel like something is wrong with the relationship. So sometimes women will just arbitrarily cause conflict where there was none just to maintain their own equilibrium. And it’s always at the moment when The man is at his most secure. My friend Jared was dating his ex-girlfriend for about two years. She had some problems which I am not at liberty to discuss here that have made things hard on her emotionally. However, Jared is in no way related to these problems. Jared being his docile accommodating self is in no way responsible for any of her inner conflict but then one day out of nowhere she announces that she needs space. How does space from Jared help her solve her problems with herself? Who knows? Is she entitled to her space to help her own emotional well-being? Absolutely? Is this some bullshit from Jared’s perspective? Fucking right. I mean seriously. Literally one day they are discussing marriage and the next she needs space for some unbeknownst reason even to her. And Jared, already deeply emotionally invested and living with her in this strange= new city just has to eat it. She needs space so now you’re alone. What the fuck.
Case #2 and I could go on and on with these cases. I have an ex-girlfriend Chanda. Our whole relationship was one big rollercoaster. I mentioned earlier that I had spoken to Antoinette about how important honesty was to me. It stemmed from this relationship. Which is not to imply that Chanda was ever dishonest with me because in fact she was quite the opposite. She was always honest with me but she was constantly changing her mind. I would be living on the pretense that she was in whatever state I had last left her and she was already advancing to something else. Every now and then she would commute back from here where she was a PHD student at Tulane to her mother’s home in Baton Rouge. Whenever she would come back she would have what me and Kibwe affectionately referred to as Baton Rouge disease. It’s symptoms that she wanted to try to just be friends and not be romantic, and limited visitation. Always when we would reach a comfort zone she would find a way to shift everything upside down. Finally it was on Christmas day in 1998 that we broke up. Only a week after she had expressed a sentiment about our childraising that marked the first time I felt really secure in our relationship. Now I’m not about to sit here and act like she was to blame for everything. In fact it was all my fault why things didn’t work out. It was nothing I could help. She was a grown ass woman and I was still a boy (she was 3 years older than me) but it was always at the most inopportune moment that her conscience would strike.
Nice guys finish last
Do I even need to discuss this? No specific examples are warranted because everyone knows this. As much as women gripe about wanting a man who will be devoted to them, be honest with them, cherish them, blah blah. The men who are most willing to step to the forefront are the ones most often overlooked. There is something undesirable to a woman about a man who is willing/longing to commit. And I have no scientific evidence for this but as many nice guys as I’ve known they Never got the girl. As many bad guys as I’ve known they always got the GIRLS. And on the occasion that that nice guy could transform himself and cross over to the dark side he too would then get all the girls. Ok here’s a recent one that comes to mind. Me and my cousin Lee go to Tulane to play cards.
We simultaneously meet this girl Mia. Lee is friendly, joking, openly engaging in conversation with Mia. I am disinterested, contemptuous of her stupidity and ditziness and in some instances insulting towards her. When it is time to leave she offers that she has to walk to the school where she’s going. I continue to play spades still not acknowledging her existence, Lee extends a ride to her destination. I’ll give you one guess who she came away from that situation thinking of as a boyfriend candidate and who she thought of as a big brother. Of course when informed of this I didn’t act on it because I hated her and everything she stands for having been a former big brother a time or two myself. But I can assure you that two years ago when I was in the business of turning girls like this out I would have made quick work of her chastity without the word girlfriend ever entering my thought process.
So you think I sound bitter right now, and you’re right I am. I’m bitter that women are capable of these things. I’m bitter of my own situations I’ve been victimized in. I’m bitter on behalf of my friends scorned by women. And I’m bitter that I’m afraid to fall in love. I’m glad I got all that angst out of my system. Now I can breathe.