"In the poker game of life, women are the rake"

That quote was uttered by Ed Norton in the movie “Rounders.” for those of you unfamiliar with Poker terminology the rake is the cut of the pot that the house takes basically just for being there. In my last few posts I felt I was not really forthcoming enough in the responsibilities women have in their own demise. Furthermore, I spent a lot of time talking about how guys are scum but I didn’t really get into why girls are scandalous. Well with the rekindled fire of my contempt for girls just recently set ablaze what better time than the present? Everything I share with you is an actual event.

Why I don’t date women I don’t know

Two stories here. I have a friend Jamylah. She was “dating” this guy named Mike, and by dating I mean she would go over to his house after midnight so they could “hang out” and by Hang out I mean make out. You may have noticed that nowhere in this definition of the word dating have I included the word date. That’s not an oversight on my part. Obviously Mike was “Dating” other girls, probably as many as he could manage. Jamylah in an attempt to be more proactive about her own dating life goes out on a date with another guy whose name escapes me. While on a date with the new guy Mike calls. She excuses herself to the restroom where in an attempt to make Mike jealous she discloses that she is on a date.

Mike: Where you at?
Jamylah: (happy that he inquired) on a date
M: (nonchalantly) Oh word? Where ya’ll at.
J: (Thinking that he has fallen victim to her trap) We’re at Bennigan’s.
M: Get that nigga to get me a sandwich.

So Jamylah goes back to the table and very politely asks the gentleman she’s on a date with if he would please get her an extra sandwich for her brother at home who had just called. The young man, trying to impress her, obliges and drops her off back at her house without so much as a goodbye kiss. When the coast is clear she runs out to her car and the only thing that’s quicker than her getting to Mike’s house is the time it takes to get her tongue down his throat when she arrives.

Case #2
There is this girl I went to College with named Michele. There are many a Michele story to amuse us but I’ll save those for another day. There was one in particular that angered me. Michele spent a good deal of time complaining to me and Kibwe about how she could never find a good guy. All guys ever want her for is sex. Mind you she was currently in an “exclusive” sexual relationship with a Tulane football player. And by exclusive I meant he was the only person she was having sex with, and she was one girl among many including his girlfriend that Michele was aware of. SCANDALOUS! But I digress. A friend of mine took a romantic interest in Michele for what reason I do not know. One Friday night he took her and one of his friends out for the evening. They went to dinner and then they decided to go to a club afterwards. So my friend pays for the three of them to go in. They’re having a nice time when Michele wanders off to the dance floor to find who else, but the football player she’s exclusive with. So after dancing and getting heated the football player invites her home with him to consummate their date. And she leaves my poor friend at the club with his boy sitting there watching all this take place to go fuck some dude with a girlfriend. God bless! I mean for real. His boy was there. Can it have been more embarrassing? These two examples are the soul reason why I do not date girls I do not know very well.

Why I don’t trust the women I do know

Two stories here also. The first one is simple. My ex-girlfriend Antoinette who happens to now be a very good platonic friend of mine, were in the process of courting each other. Now I am not a significantly jealous person by nature. But I have had some things which I will discuss in my next section that make it imperative for me that I know everything about a woman before I get emotionally attached. However because I’m so analytical and I evaluate so much data a lot of women can’t understand that and they think that I am more sensitive than I am. What they don’t understand is that I’m not sensitive about their emotions. I’m sensitive about their lying and deception. So Antoinette seemed like a good fit for me because she was very forthcoming about her dealings with other guys. There was a man she had met via the internet about the same time she met me. Apparently they had made arrangements to see each other before me and her started getting serious. She offered to me without any inquisition on my part the full story of what happened on the day they spent together. According to her they met at the mall, walked around for a while and then went back to his hotel. He was in town on business. They hung around there for a while but nothing happened and finally she excused herself under the guise that it was her brother’s birthday. Quite blameless right? Well needless to say there were some things that came up during the course of our relationship that made me not be able to trust her. So when I did actually inquire about this incident on my own the story changed. Over the course of the year we were together I heard 8 different versions of the story until the last installment which I’m not even sure is true went something like this. After leaving the mall they went back to his hotel where he massaged her while she sat between his legs and then she reciprocated with a massage of her own. When it was time to leave they embraced and he kissed her on her stomach which “felt so good” to quote her, and she cannot remember if they kissed goodbye. Now that’s some perspective fa yo ass. Every time she told the story she insisted that she had just forgotten whatever new detail there was in the initial telling. What she meant by that was she had forgotten to omit the right details with each new telling.

Case #2
The “Nappy-headed ex-girlfriend.” Our saga begins mid-April of 2002. We started dating very soon after Antoinette and I broke up. This being a rebound relationship things started to move very fast. But I still made sure to take the necessary precautions, or so I felt. I explained to her that a very big role in mine and Antoinette’s breakup was my lack of trust. It was very important that she be honest and forthcoming with me because of that. Of course she promised she would be. Me still being on this emotional rollercoaster from my last relationship allowed my desire to believe her make my decision for me. So then on May 30 I asked her to be my girlfriend. I remember this date well not because of the significance to the beginning of our relationship but because of the significance to the end of it. On May 31 I woke up in her room. And the first thing that meets my eyes is the name Quincy Gamble on her computer screen. Instinctively because I’m nosey my eyes wander over a sentence that I can’t quite make out if it is real or part of a dream, nor can I remember with any remarkable accuracy but I know there’s something disturbing about it. I dismiss it in my sleepiness and close my eyes. Later on in the day we are leaving my house to go on a weekend trip to Pensacola. Like I mentioned before I used to be a very good boyfriend once upon a time. She gets up from checking her email and we go to get in the car. I remember that I left something in the room so I go back inside to get it. Well when I walk in low and behold her email account is sitting there minimized but still accessible. I’m not ashamed to say that I open the window and read the email from earlier that morning that I was unsure of. Now Alana told me that she had stopped corresponding with this ex of hers. So imagine my chagrin just finding out the untruth of that. Well there were very many disturbing things about this email thread which dated as far back as the beginning of May, but still in the time frame we were dating, but the one that stuck with me the most was a reply sent earlier that day May 31 (the end of our relationship) that read something to the effect of:

You want to know if I feel we belong together? If you had asked me a year ago I would have said yes. Six months ago I would have said no. Now…I don’t know.

Fuck you mean you don’t know? Raggedy Bitch! If you are my girlfriend, a term I don’t throw around lightly, you better damn well sure know if you belong with some other nigga or not before you tell me you want to be with me. So I made a printout of the email thread for her. I went outside and asked her to come back in the house with me.

Gian: Is there something you want to tell me?
Nappy headed ex-girlfriend: No
G: (repeat 4x, each time becoming more enraged) are you sure you don’t have something to say to me?
NHEG: No (still confused)
G: You don’t want to say anything about an email exchange between you and Quincy?
NHEG: (Now nervous, but still refusing to give up her stance) No
G: (Pulling out the email printout and showing her) Let me ask you one last time are you sure you don’t have something to say to me?
NHEG: (Knowing she’s busted but still being defiant) No
G: (now reading email) blah blah….now I don’t know. So is there anything you want to tell me?
NHEG: (tears welling up) No
G: (Going towards car to get bags unpacked) Alright. Get the fuck out.

our relationship died on that day but it didn’t cease. I was already emotionally invested and I knew my feelings weren’t going anywhere so we continued to see each other for a year afterwards. In that time of course there were more lies and omissions from her. Sometimes she would lie about an incident. I would spend an hour busting her lie, at which time she’d finally admit wrongdoing. Then she’d have the nerve to lie about the exact same thing a week later as if I forgot that we established that she was lying. I mean she was straight up pathological.

How they get you

It’s always when you least expect it they pull the rug right out from under you. If there’s one thing a woman can’t compute it’s the absence of conflict. Women want to argue because if there is nothing to fight about they feel like something is wrong with the relationship. So sometimes women will just arbitrarily cause conflict where there was none just to maintain their own equilibrium. And it’s always at the moment when The man is at his most secure. My friend Jared was dating his ex-girlfriend for about two years. She had some problems which I am not at liberty to discuss here that have made things hard on her emotionally. However, Jared is in no way related to these problems. Jared being his docile accommodating self is in no way responsible for any of her inner conflict but then one day out of nowhere she announces that she needs space. How does space from Jared help her solve her problems with herself? Who knows? Is she entitled to her space to help her own emotional well-being? Absolutely? Is this some bullshit from Jared’s perspective? Fucking right. I mean seriously. Literally one day they are discussing marriage and the next she needs space for some unbeknownst reason even to her. And Jared, already deeply emotionally invested and living with her in this strange= new city just has to eat it. She needs space so now you’re alone. What the fuck.

Case #2 and I could go on and on with these cases. I have an ex-girlfriend Chanda. Our whole relationship was one big rollercoaster. I mentioned earlier that I had spoken to Antoinette about how important honesty was to me. It stemmed from this relationship. Which is not to imply that Chanda was ever dishonest with me because in fact she was quite the opposite. She was always honest with me but she was constantly changing her mind. I would be living on the pretense that she was in whatever state I had last left her and she was already advancing to something else. Every now and then she would commute back from here where she was a PHD student at Tulane to her mother’s home in Baton Rouge. Whenever she would come back she would have what me and Kibwe affectionately referred to as Baton Rouge disease. It’s symptoms that she wanted to try to just be friends and not be romantic, and limited visitation. Always when we would reach a comfort zone she would find a way to shift everything upside down. Finally it was on Christmas day in 1998 that we broke up. Only a week after she had expressed a sentiment about our childraising that marked the first time I felt really secure in our relationship. Now I’m not about to sit here and act like she was to blame for everything. In fact it was all my fault why things didn’t work out. It was nothing I could help. She was a grown ass woman and I was still a boy (she was 3 years older than me) but it was always at the most inopportune moment that her conscience would strike.

Nice guys finish last

Do I even need to discuss this? No specific examples are warranted because everyone knows this. As much as women gripe about wanting a man who will be devoted to them, be honest with them, cherish them, blah blah. The men who are most willing to step to the forefront are the ones most often overlooked. There is something undesirable to a woman about a man who is willing/longing to commit. And I have no scientific evidence for this but as many nice guys as I’ve known they Never got the girl. As many bad guys as I’ve known they always got the GIRLS. And on the occasion that that nice guy could transform himself and cross over to the dark side he too would then get all the girls. Ok here’s a recent one that comes to mind. Me and my cousin Lee go to Tulane to play cards.
We simultaneously meet this girl Mia. Lee is friendly, joking, openly engaging in conversation with Mia. I am disinterested, contemptuous of her stupidity and ditziness and in some instances insulting towards her. When it is time to leave she offers that she has to walk to the school where she’s going. I continue to play spades still not acknowledging her existence, Lee extends a ride to her destination. I’ll give you one guess who she came away from that situation thinking of as a boyfriend candidate and who she thought of as a big brother. Of course when informed of this I didn’t act on it because I hated her and everything she stands for having been a former big brother a time or two myself. But I can assure you that two years ago when I was in the business of turning girls like this out I would have made quick work of her chastity without the word girlfriend ever entering my thought process.

So you think I sound bitter right now, and you’re right I am. I’m bitter that women are capable of these things. I’m bitter of my own situations I’ve been victimized in. I’m bitter on behalf of my friends scorned by women. And I’m bitter that I’m afraid to fall in love. I’m glad I got all that angst out of my system. Now I can breathe.

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26 responses to “"In the poker game of life, women are the rake"

  1. For someone whose been in love 6 times, the fear of falling in love just doesn’t compute…but perhaps all 6 were case studies which led to the demise in trust. So, let me get this straight…your official relationship with Alana ONLY lasted a day? Geez. Doesn’t seem like there’s too many people left for u to date then…that is, if u can’t date the girls u don’t know and u can’t trust the girls that u do know. If both men and women are scandalous, how do u suggest that we relate to each other?

  2. @Diggs well obviously this fear is something new for me. When I say I’m afraid to fall in love I don’t mean that’s how I’ve been all my life. I haven’t been “in love” in almost three years. No it did not officially last a day. Oficially it lasted a year. I just didn’t take it very seriously after that time. It became more of a process of me trying to get over her and move on even though we still held a title. As far as there not being too many women for me to date you took the words right out of my mouth. And at this point for me at least I feel the best way to relate is o just be accepting of the fact that we are human and therefore selfish and not put too much pressure on the opposite gender to live up to our fairytales.

  3. Those were some jacked up situations. And I think the last situation you talked on was right on. I think that indifference is a powerful weapon and it can make people question themselves. You messed with her confidence because you ignored her. So she then wanted to get with you, in a way, so she could prove to herself that she still “got it”. From what I can tell.It can be discouraging to hear people give up on love, not that you don’t have good reason to. Just like the way a lot of women say “men ain’t shit” and “there are no good men left”, I think they’re talking from bad experiences. But at the same time, they are also the girls who have sex with somebody elses man or do other scandalous things like the stuff you’ve mentioned. That’s why I’m so protective of my little brother as he’s starting to date. But I think men and women, espeially black men and women, have issues in terms of knowing how to love both ourselves and others.I think at the end of the day, you just gotta sometimes go through the bad to more appreciate the good once you get it. And, like you said, accept the fact that we are human and therefore selfish. We can’t put too much pressure on our significant other’s to live up to our fairytales, because realistically, love takes a lot more than fantasy.

  4. I think that everybody goes through what you’re going through. You just seem frustrated. Trust me nice girls finish last too. This too shall pass.

  5. I agree, nice girls finish last too. I’ve spent years having guys tell me that “I’m so much different than other girls they meet” but that’s cause your asses go for the same type of girls, just like girls are attracted to the bad boys! Find better women, and things will look up.

  6. I agree with the above. I fall into that you’re too much of a good friend to be my girlfriend category, so what does it take to be a girlfriend !!!

  7. Kiesha is right, nice girls do finish last. I guess the only thing you can do is leave it in God’s hand. That’s the route I’m taking. I can easily dismiss all men as being dogs, but that hopeless romantic in me won’t allow it. I also agree with Chevonne, black men and women definitely have a problem with self love. Once you love yourself, it’s a hell of a lot easier to love someone else completely. You’ll recognize that sister with that love. She’ll be oozing with it!GoodLuck!

  8. hey nigga, i’ve only read half the blog and i aint read none of the comments but I gotta give u props on how u handled nappy girl… “Alright. Get the fuck out.” LMFAO!!! Yo son, shit like that stings just readin it. hey nigga, i’ve got my own share of stories, nigga. this shit just makes me realize i dont need no bullshit in my muthafukkin life. muthafukk committin to any-fukkin-body. i know that not everybody is untrustworthy but i aint got the time or the energy to be contemplatin who’s worth trustin. stayin single is my solution.

  9. @Chevonne In reading this over I see that my words were a bit over the top in relation to my bitterness. It may seem that I’m more scorned than I am. I’m not disenfranchised with love itself. I am however anti falling in love or the proverbial fairytale. Do I believe that the fairytale can come true? Yes. Will mine come true? I don’t have one anymore because they’re bad for you. You spend too much time hoping for it and it doesn’t come to pass it can get discouraging.@Keisha believe me I know nice girls finish last. That’s what my last 4 posts were about. In fact the last poem I wrote is co-titled “The simultaneous irony and hypocrisy that nice girls also finish last.” The actual title is “Old dogs don’t need new tricks.”@Jonetsu find better women is easier said than done. The thing about a woman is they’re so fickle. A good woman is not always available. That is to say a woman who we would both consider good has a very specific window where she can be accessed for serious consideration. Women are constantly shifting emotional balance and it’s really a game of chance. When they are available they latch on quick and breaking a woman away from a man she has her mind set on is impossible.@vagitis I’ve never heard of a girl being too much of a friend to be a girlfriend. I’ve heard of guys dismissing girls as girls from girlfriend candidacy using friendship as an excuse though. BTW I really liked your blog. I ended up commenting in like three of the entries.@Critic I am privledged and honored to have you among my blog commentors. It’s like some high school basketball player finding out Michael Jordan is coming to his game. Thanks.@Des I suppose then that you think you’re a nice irl (J/K) yeh nice girls do finish last when they make poor decisions and hang on to them for three years hoping that things will change. But I know a couple of guys who don’t date 4 and 5 women at a time and I don’t see any “Nice Girls” KNocking down their door.

  10. Very well supported argument.This post showed me that men have issues too. I thought they just acted stupid for no reason.Good girls finish last when we’re young. Every man wants a naughty young chick. But I believe when men are ready to settle down, they’ll choose the good girl.The problem is, we’ll be so burned by then that we won’t be so nice anymore.

  11. I have heard and witnessed many many stories like this, however, fortunately I have not ever experienced it. Well with the exception of the “nice guys finish last” story. Or, maybe I am lame and just didn’t realize how much I have gotten played in the past. hmm… at any rate… good post. glad you got to get that off yo chest..

  12. Great post. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had such hard times dealing with girls. I do agree with you in that maybe if you look at the fact that everyone has their faults and makes mistakes, you wouldn’t be looking for a fantasy relationship. You’d start looking for one in which there is mutual respect and compatibility and nothing else.I also must agree with my girls that nice girls finish last. I’m always the one who is not aggressive, and just goes with the flow. I don’t ask for much, and I don’t expect much…or maybe I expect too much. I expect everything to work accordingly without my efforts. I expect guys to treat me well from jump. But it doesn’t happen that way.My motto is, (for nice girls vs. golddiggers) “If you don’t ask for it, you won’t get it.” They’re called golddiggers for a reason..they’re looking for it. So, if you want a man to want you..go out there and get him.For all the nice guys and nice girls, I think people consider themselves nice because they don’t aggressively pursue the ones we want and be an ass-hole while doing it. But, if we all were just nice people waiting for someone to approach..and remove us from our lonely lives and take us away from our bad habits…we would never find love. You have to make an effort…and don’t fall for the first person you think is great. (I can’t say I have followed my own advice, but hey)Sorry for the long comment…looks like I should have wrote a blog on it…and I just might. 🙂

  13. As if I hadn’t said enough:It seems like your ex from Baton Rouge must have really been hearing about the importance of not having pre-marital sex every time she went home. So, when she came back she’d be feeling guilty as sin.And I think you have to date women you don’t know. Because the ones you do know…you know on a different level. And when you get intimately involved…everything can change. You still don’t know them, but you had an idea of what they would be like in an intimate relationship, but really had no idea at all.

  14. Those women were wrong, no excuses. My tendency is to justify, but there is no real justification for dishonesty. Although I would like to say there is a such thing as privacy and although I’m glad you found out the girl wasn’t exactly honest with you I still think you should have respected her privacy. But that’s just one aspect of the whole entire post which I think took a look at some of the things women may also do that qualify somen as liars.

  15. I LOVED YOUR POST G!! trust has to be the most FRAGILE emotion in our world!!even more so than love. but, time heals ALL wounds….this coming from the eternal optimist..and a person hopelessly in love with a man that i may never completely trust!!so….

  16. I commend you on being so open with your relationship hangups. However, I think I would probably have to drop kick you for invading your ex girlfriend’s privacy.I am firm beliver that if you have to peep out your girlfriend/boyfriend’s stuff, then you already have your answer if you are questioning their faithfulness. I’m just playing about the drop kicking and stuff tho!

  17. Unfortunately, I can relate to some of these girls. I did and lied the same way some of them did when I first started college. Back then, I tricked alot of guys into thinking I was sweet and innocent. I never thought I would get a good man just based on my past behavior. All I can say is when the time is right,God will bless you with the right woman…sounds kinda cliche, doesn’t it? I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true for me.

  18. @Rydah You feel me! I got real raw with her that day. I didn’t go into it in the post cause it didn’t really have so much to do with it but it was some ol Ike/Anna Mae shit up in there. I can’t wait to see your post about getting raw on these women.@Tee In my experiences it seems that most of the good ones are taken when they’re young too. A lot of times men make a good one latch on to them and then do their dirtywork on the side while keeping the good one on the backburner. @Brutha I live by the creed that someone has gotten the best of all of us. So that wouldn’t make you lame. If you didn’t notice when that girl got over on you then God Bless. One of my greater dating fears is that I’ll be gotten over on and see it just in time not to be able to do anything about it.@Breezy lol@ all your tidbits of advice. This was just a rant. I appreciate it but I pretty much have things under control. Like I said I’m not searching for a fairytale anymore. I have very realistic views on relationships and how they function and I manage things accordingly. I just didn’t want women to think they were off the hook with all these posts I’ve had about men’s inadequacies. As far as the “Baton Rouge disease” I really think that what happened with her when she went home was that since she was away from me to distract her she would see more clearly what she did want and that was space. She had just gotten out of a relationship when we started seeing each other and she didn’t really get anytime to breathe in between. Being here just misguided her because she had an emotional attachment for me that was getting in the way of what her priorities should have been.@Mia I know you have I been missin you. even when you not writing you supposed to be cheking up on yo people tho.@Shan agreed time does heal wounds. I’m not nearly the pessimist I once was. I mean I had some deep rooted anger for women not too many years ago that I thought would stick close to my heart forever. But now I only feel that passionate about my distrust in spurts. For the most part I’ve gotten over a lot of stuff. Indifference is a powerful entity. Or as my friend Kibwe said to me the other night “Chalk works in mysterious ways.”@Anit and Reza Man you know I’ve never done anything like that before that time. I mean I felt bad about it for about 4 seconds between the time I realized that I could look in her email and the time I opened it and started reading. After that all the guilt passed and was replaced by rage. It was not the first or last time I was intrusive with her. Like I said in one of my previous posts, I have done some dispicable things. That relationship was just all around unhealthy for me. Fortunately I can say that I think it was just a phase of relationships with me. I don’t think my lack of trust will lead me to be that way in the future. But hopefully I don’t end up with any more pathological liars trying to test my resolve either.

  19. It just hits you when reading your post that men and women can and do experience the same type of relationship drama! I can personally say that all women are NOT like your ex’s, but I guess then I’d have to admit that all circus midgets are not like my ex-boyfriend…and who the hell would want to do something like that?? LOL!Seriously though, I love your writing…and you’re right. You’re doing big thangs if the big “HC” is giving you props!Blessing!Lambchop~

  20. The one thing I disagree with is that women like to start arguments. Well, it’s not completely true. I think men can be the same way too. I know couples that don’t function well unless they are arguing and sometimes it’s the man starting the fight. Personally, I cannot stand arguments and do not understand why people stay with folks they constanly argue with. I guess love is a complicated thing. As for the nice girls finishing last I agree with some of the other comments on this be OH SO TRUE. Just like women like a man with some asshole in them, men like women with some bitchyness in them.

  21. ok, i’m finally catching up.i was going along well until i got to the part about the girl named Mia and her ditziness. even though it wasn’t me, i was like hold up a damn minute LOL.g, really, we are a lot alike. i analyze EVERY DAMN THING, i don’t miss shit. i remember EVERYTHING a guy says and later in our relationship i’ll bring something up and he’ll be like “you remembered that?” hell yeah. it’s self-preservation. you have to be aware; however, even i am amazed at your perceptiveness.i could really relate to the NHGF story. i was the NHGF. she was not mature enough to handle a real man at that point. it takes life experience and trial and error to finally get things right. every girl and to hurt and get hurt to mature into a woman. that’s just how it is.now, i proceed to enlighten myself my reading the rest of your entries :o)

  22. You should consider opening your mind some and not generalizing all women. I was a very honest person at one time…too honest…but I got my heart trampled on too many times. You named 2 instances…I can give you dozens where brothas have lied, cheated and just been dirty. Am I saying all men are stupid? No. Just the ones who are chosen. Maybe that is the problem. And I am from N.O. and have a very personal perspective when it comes to the way we can be (men and women).

  23. Hey darlin;Finally sat down and just DEVOTED a good chunk of my time to reading your entries. :)This made me think:Gian said: “There is something undesirable to a woman about a man who is willing/longing to commit. And I have no scientific evidence for this but as many nice guys as I’ve known they Never got the girl.”I have to agree with my girl Ms. Tee…the good girls finish last. I’m a good church girl… funny, highly intelligent, with a great job, no kids, and I consider myself cute (beautiful? I dunno… I guess that’s in the eye of the beholder).Do I get asked out? No. Overlooked? YEAH. I don’t dress in bati-riders and I don’t show any skin, am still a virgin after 24 years (and it ain’t bothering me).So the nice guy thing… I don’t care what anybody says, not every Black woman wants a thug. Those no-good louts can stay with Destiny’s Bubbleheads…uh, Child and their stupid-ass Soldier song. Dumbasses say they’re Christian and singing that dutty song, CHUPSE (kisses teeth).Yeah. The thugs stay away. Ratface Ja Rule (who was in Toronto the other day…I shoulda gone to the courthouse to throw a pie in his mug) sang “every thug needs a lady”.It don’t mean every lady wants a thug. I don’t! I count!!

  24. I guess I’ll respond since I’m still getting comments here.@Lambchop I know all women aren’t like that, but that’s the thing. How do you spot the ones that are. I have a pretty good bullshit detector but obviously even I’ve gotten fooled. I guess I’m just saying that you have to take a guilty until proven innocent approach.@Lindsay I definitely agree with you there. I guess most of my argument is not really limited to women. These are just qualities of people. But since I have a practice of only dealing romantically with women I’m targeting yall for now.@Mia I know for a fact you were not the NHEG. You are big enough to look at yourself and see what you have done wrong an own up to it. That is a sign of maturity. Alana still insists that I put her through the trials of Job and our breakup was all my fault. When I ask her about her lying even now she doesn’t admit to lying. To let her tell it she only lied to me two times in her life.@Tiger when speaking of a problem or fact about society youmust generalize. I never used the word all in anycapacity. I never used any absolutes as a matter offact. I only have two instances of women’s wrongdoingfor brevity’s sake. Perhaps if you were a little moreopen minded you would realize that I’m not basing mylife’s decisions around two incidents. My passage inno way lets men off the hook and the previous threeentries before that one are all about how scandalousmen are. My mind is open. Is yours?@solitaire You do count and if I lived in Toronto I would have asked you out a long time ago. But I definitely agree about nice girls finishing last too. But I had to represent for all my nice guys out there too.

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