SEX!!!!! Now that I’ve got your attention, on to the post.

As of this day I am no longer Jediknigga. I still like the name but I have decided to go by my mic name which is “the G perspective” of course since most of you didn’t refer to me as Jedi anyway, G is still an acceptable alternative.

“G perspective cause God’s, good, gifts is what I’m here to announce
and my name starts with G but it’s kind of hard to pronounce.”

Okay, after this I think I will have finished with my BP enema and we can get back to composing some new, original posts. I find this a fitting post with so many bloggers (not)practicing “celibacy/abstinence” as a way of maintaining control over their emotions.

MY FRIEND KIBWE ASKED ME TO EXPLAIN MY THEORIES ON SEX LAST NIGHT TO TWO OF OUR FRIENDS SHANIEKA AND JAMYLAH. BUT I COULDN`T REALLY REMEMBER IT SO I HAVE TO ARTICULATE IT HERE FIRST. NOW OF COURSE WE KNOW THE MAIN PURPOSE OF INTERCOURSE IS REPRODUCTION. BUT FOR THOSE WHO SEE REPRODUCTION AS A LONG TERM GOAL OR EVEN DETRIMENTAL WE STILL HAVE SEX FOR THE OTHER REASON. THE TERM SEX AS IT IS USED HERE IS BROAD. I AM NOT LIMITING SEX TO INTERCOURSE BECAUSE THE SAME GRATIFICATION CAN BE ACHIEVED AT DIFFERENT LEVELS THROUGH OTHER SEXUAL ACTS EVEN AS MINOR AS KISSING. WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO IS THAT SEX IS ALL ABOUT EMPOWERMENT. THERE ARE A COUPLE OF VARYING DEGREES, BUT THE GOAL OF SEX IS NOT PHYSICAL PLEASURE. WITH WOMEN THE EMPOWERMENT THEY’RE USUALLY TRYING TO GAIN IS OVER THEIR EMOTIONS, AND WITH MEN IT`S USUALLY ABOUT GAINING EMPOWERMENT OVER WOMEN AND THEIR MANHOOD. JUST LIKE WITH WOMEN WHO SAY THAT THEY`RE DRESSING UP FOR THEMSELVES SO THAT THEY CAN FEEL LIKE THEY LOOK GOOD MEN HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES.

WITH A MAN, WHEN HE ACCEPTS THAT SOCIETY (OR AT LEAST HIS PEERS)IS MEASURING HIS VALUE IN LARGE PART BY HOW GOOD HE IS AT GETTING WITH WOMEN AND HOW MANY WOMEN HE HAS BEEN WITH THEN IN ORDER FOR HIM TO FEEL ADEQUATE AS A MAN AND HAVE CONTROL OVER HIS SEXUALITY HE HAS TO PROVE TO HIMSELF THAT HE IS CAPABLE. AND NOTHING BACKS UP BELIEF LIKE STATISTICS. EVEN WHEN THE MAN IS SO PROLIFIC THAT HE LOSES TRACK OF THE ACTUAL NUMBERS IT`S STILL IMPORTANT THAT HE EXPERIENCES EXPONENTIAL PRODUCTION SO THAT HE KNOWS HE`S “STILL GOT IT.” WITH WOMEN SEX IS ABOUT EMOTION, EVEN MOST OF THE WOMEN WHOSE CLAIM IS THEY`RE JUST “TRYING TO GET THEIRS.” ALMOST ALL WOMEN ARE DRIVEN BY EMOTION, AND MOST OF THOSE WOMEN GAIN EMOTIONAL SATISFACTION THROUGH THEIR DEALINGS WITH MEN. WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN, CONCERNING MEN, THEY NEED EITHER OF TWO THINGS OR SOMETIMES BOTH. AFFECTION AND/OR ATTENTION. AND FOR MOST PEOPLE THE ULTIMATE GRATIFICATION IS SEXUALY DRIVEN.

WHEN A WOMAN GIVES HERSELF TO A MAN SEXUALY SHE IS EITHER SUBMITING HER EMOTIONS TO A MAN`S WILL IN RETURN FOR HIS AFFECTION OR ATTENTION OR BOTH WHICH IN AN ODD WAY IS HER WAY OF EMPOWERING BECAUSE IT TAKES CONTROL TO SUBMIT. YOU CAN`T GIVE A MAN YOUR HEART IF IT`S NOT YOURS TO GIVE. OR SHE IS TRYING TO GAIN EMPOWERMENT OVER MEN WITH THEIR OWN TOOL OF EMPOWERMENT. BUT THE PHYSICAL STIMULATION IS STRICTLY SUPPLEMENTAL. FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND (BUT NOT FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCES πŸ™‚ MANY SEXUAL EXPERIENCES FOR WOMEN DO NOT RESULT IN ORGASM. FOR MEN, SINCE SEXUAL STIMULATION IS EASIER, BEING NON-FUNCTIONAL AFTER ORGASM AND SINCE MEN ARE USUALLY THE LEAD IN THE HETEROSEXUAL, SEXUAL EXPERIENCE THEIR ORGASM IS USUALLY THE END OF A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER. BUT THE ENDS DOES NOT OUTWEIGH THE MEANS.

JUST BECAUSE CLOSURE ARRIVES WITH THE ORGASM DOES NOT MAKE IT THE GOAL. SOME WOMEN AREN`T CAPABLE OF HAVING ORGASMS, FOR OTHERS IT`S HARD TO COME BY, AND SOME CAN IF THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND ATMOSPHERE ARE CONDUCIVE, BUT THEY ALL CONTINUE TO HAVE NON-REPRODUCTIVE, INTENDED SEX WHETHER THERE IS PROMISE OF ORGASM AWAITING OR NOT. THE EMOTIONAL GRATIFICATION FROM THE ATTENTION/AFFECTION THEY GET FROM A MAN WEIGHS HEAVIEST. OF COURSE THE COMBINATION OF A MAN WHO STIMULATES BOTH THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL NEEDS OF A PARTICUALR WOMAN IS WHERE WOMEN FIND THEMSELVES SPRUNG BUT THAT`S ANOTHER ENTRY ALTOGETHER. SINCE A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER NEEDS A DISCERNABLE END IT USUALLY COMES WITH THE MALE ORGASM. AND NECESSAIRILY, SINCE IT IS EXEPECTED THAT THAT IS THE END THEN IT ALSO SEEMS LIKE THE GOAL. BUT IF MALE ORGASM WERE JUST AS HARD OR HARDER TO COME BY MEN WOULD STILL HAVE SEX. SEX IS THE MOST INTIMATE ACT WE HAVE CONTROL OVER AND THUS HAS THE MOST VALUE.

ANYONE WHO RENTS SWORDFISH CAN SEE WHAT HALLE BERRY`S BREASTS LOOK LIKE, BUT ONLY A HANDFUL OF MEN (I`M ASSUMING) CAN KNOW WHAT IT`S LIKE TO BE WITH HALLE IN THE MOST INTIMATE WAY. AND FOR THOSE MEN THEY PROBABLY CAN`T REMEMBER THE ORGASM THAT RESULTED FROM THEIR TIME WITH HALLE BUT THEY CAN REMEMBER THE LOOK ON HER FACE THAT OTHER MEN HAVE NEVER SEEN. SO ANY MAN WHO WOULD HAVE SEX WITH HALLE BERRY, IF GIVEN THE CONDITION THEY COULD ONLY DO SO IF THEY STOPPED BEFORE THEY REACHED ORGASM WOULD ACCEPT THAT AND BE SATISFIED BY THE EMPOWERMENT THEY WOULD ACHIEVE BY BEING WITH HER. WHETHER OR NOT QUALITY OR QUANTITY IS WHAT EMPOWERS THEM DEPENDS ON THE GUY.

Besides that men are ego driven. And nothing feeds a male ego like a woman’s submission. In one of my earlier posts “The answer to all women’s questions” I wrote
What it always comes down to for men is control. And I don’t necessairily mean control as in he can tell you what to do. I’m talking about your submission. That’s what men thrive off of. Most often it isn’t really sex that a man wants when he’s pursuing a woman (although that is a great supplementary benefit, and that’s what he thinks he wants). Most men seek sex from women because most women express their submission through sex. Which is not to say that everytime a woman has sex she is submitting cause nothing could be further from the truth. But when a woman does submit to a man it is often through a sexual expression.

Now you can see how this conflict of interests can (and does) effect male/female relationships. Genders doing the same act but gaining empowerment from opposing intent can often confuse issues, and leave the party with emotions at stake in a serious predicament. Just something to keep in mind next time you’re being grown up.

25 responses to “SEX!!!!! Now that I’ve got your attention, on to the post.

  1. Good post and very interesting perspective. I especially agree with your thoughts how we feel about a woman submitting to us etc etc… it’s also about just getting that feeling you have when you finally “hit it”. Which is why I probably shy away from woman who are initially aggressive b/c I want to feel like I worked towards gettin it. That is krazee….

  2. I was wondering about the name change when you posted on my blog.Thanks so much for your comments. I’ll keep that in mind, the ‘remember to breathe’ part. I’ll have to learn that one…the newsroom is a KRAY-ZAY PLACE!!

  3. I can really see myself as one of those women who sought affection/attention from men using sex. Sometimes I got what I wanted. Other times it left me feeling empty. Great post…

  4. Very insightful post. I definately agree with what you have to say, especially about women (I guess cause I am one). I guess this is why sex can be so complicated……. it takes a relationship to a aWHOLEnother level.

  5. @ Brutha and you right. I don’t really like arbitrarily wating for a woman but it is a little more satisfying if I feel like I’ve conquered something. I think that’s what Aries has in mind for Slim.@Solitaire Remember to breathe is meant to be both figurative and literal. If we took more deep breaths and concentrated on that we wouldn’t be so uptight and make better decisions. Figuratively speaking it’s just a way of saying keep focused on the fundamentals of life and don’t let the complications hang you up.@ Diggs See? You’re breathing.@Jonetsu what can I say? I like making women think differently about sex.@C-Breezy it is pronounced like Deion with a hard G as in Great.@Rock Like anything else it kind of depends on the person you choose to apply it with. It will work if you shar it in the right way with the right person. Some people didn’t deserve your stuff though if they didn’t respond well.@Jazz and Starr I was sitting in this lounge called Sweet Lorraine’s at a poetry reading and it came to me. The angels sang down from heaven “Tha G perspective” Who am I to refute my calling.@Aries you outted yourself here. You had everybody hanging on the edge of their seat wondering if you caught Blog disease and gave up the booty but now we all know. @Lindsay yep, and the thing is tha if people could verbalize this to themselves it would make sex a lot less complicated. But that’s the thing about being human. All those hormones get in the way of good judgement. And then when good judgenet returns his good friend complications is sitting there giving him the finger.

  6. This post made me think about what I ever got out of sex. And although his attention and affection was a part of the emotional experience, I don’t think that’s what I was aiming for. I’ll have to consider my motives the next time I’m in a relationship that gets serious enough to add sex to the mix. I guess I’m always just a little skeptical when men assume they can tell someone what women want or gain from sex, since men in general will never really know what its like for a woman emotionally or otherwise. Thought provoking though, and points taken.

  7. The question is what is the solution? None of the things that you wrote above come natural, they’re a result of socialization. The main issue is that men are socialized to be go-getters and have sex without consequence while women are socialized to be chaste, to “save” ourselves (what the fuck are we saving ourselves for; damn them other broads I like sex), and be reserved so when we become adults we clash. Men and women need to change the way we think.

  8. @Anit Mind you affection and attention are very broad terms. Attention is not limited to time spent. It’s also acceptance, it’s consideration, value etc. I guess I wasn’t very clear about that. When I say Attention I just mean anything that can prioritize you in some way in HIS mind, When I say affection I mean anything that endears you to him in YOUR mind. But skepticism is welcome. Like I said I don’t know everything. My job is just to offer perspective.@Keisha My friend Tiffany was reading this post with me near and she pointed out that I wasn’t making myself clear on how important the socialization process is to this. SO you’re right, I didn’t properly address that. So I agree wholeheartedly that the only solution would be to resocialize ourselves. I don’t know how plausible it is to try to reprogram years of traditionalist values even if we don’t want to believe in them. However, I’ll certainly do my part by making sure my kids have a more liberal way of thinking.

  9. Nice Blog!!! It looks like you’ve spent a fair amount of time setting it up and keeping the content fresh. I’ll be sure to come back.I have a online dating blog. It pretty much covers dating related stuff.Thanks again and keep up the good work.

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