None of the answers to women’s questions

Before I get started I wanted to tell everyone that I have a crush. And I do mean crush. To me a crush is just an affection towards someone that you don’t pursue. I think I like crushes better because liking girls gets boring after awhile, but crushes are more genuine to me. They transcend aesthetics. Anyway, as I was saying, she’s a basketball player. I wish I could be there to see the face of each and every person who reads this. Since my last blog didn’t upset anyone this will definitely make yall hate me. She’s 16. There I said it. Let the Michael Jackson/R Kelly jokes begin. But anyway she plays for McDonough 35’s girls team. Congratulations to them by the way for beating defending state champ West Monroe this evening. I was in attendance and I was so bucked. She plays gaurd for 35, and I really admire her game and her candor on the court. I started watching the girls team because I was going to games to see my friend’s little brother play and the girls games would always preceede the boys games. I know I have a crush on her cause I always cheer hardest for her. It does help that she’s one of their two best players. Don’t worry yall I would never pursue a 16 year old girl in any way.I’ve done some despicable things in my time but I’m not a pedophile. She’s a cute girl but my crush is more of a “If I was 10 years younger” than a “When I sub at 35 I’m going to make her stay after class” crush. I probably sound like “who are you trying to convince here”, but I don’t care, this is my blog damnit(in Minimee voice). I’m glad I’m me and I don’t feel bad about it. Anyway I’ll let ya’ll know how they do in the state semifinals.

So this post was actually a response that Shontae asked on her Egyptian_laced blog on bp. I can’t even remember what the question was but it was something to the effect of what’s wrong with men?

THIS IS COMPLETELY OFF THE LAST SUBJECT. MY SISTER REALLY CARES ABOUT ME. SHE TOLD ME THAT MY MOM HAD ORDERED FOOD. BUT THEY DIDN`T ORDER ANYTHING THAT I EAT. I WENT TO HER TO TELL HER I NEEDED TO CALL AND ADD SOMETHING TO THE ORDER AND SHE WAS LIKE “I DON`T HAVE ANY MORE MONEY” I CAME BACK IN HERE TO FINISH MY LAST ENTRY AND BEFORE I COULD TYPE ANOTHER SENTENCE MY SISTER CAME IN WITH THE MENU FROM ITALIAN PIE AND 20 DOLLARS THAT SHE HAD SOLICITED FROM MY DAD SO I COULD ADD SOMETHING TO THE ORDER. MAYBE I DID RAISE HER RIGHT AFTER ALL.

TO ADDRESS EGYPTIAN_LACED (AND TO ALL OTHER BYSTANDERS IF YOU NEED THE IMPETUS FOR THIS ENTRY VISIT HER PAGE QUICK). THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS THAT MEN ARE SCARED. NOW SOME WOMEN MIGHT GET UPSET AT THIS NEXT THING I`M ABOUT TO SAY BUT IT`S ABSOLUTELY TRUE. WOMEN ARE SOCIALIZED TO BE SUBMISSIVE TO MEN. SO IT IS NATURAL FOR WOMEN TO SUCCOMB TO A MAN`S WHIM. AND IF SHE IS LEFT VULNERABLE AND SUBSEQUENTLY HURT BY HIS SELFISHNESS IT WILL STING. HOWEVER, THE STING A MAN FEELS IS FAR MORE BITING WHEN THE ROLES ARE REVERSED. HUMAN NATURE IS TO BE SELFISH, SO WOMEN AND MEN ARE JUST AS LIKELY TO DO SELFISH THINGS. BUT WHEN A MAN IS VULNERABLE TO A WOMAN AND HE FALLS VICTIM TO DECEIT OR INFIDELITY THE WOUND IS MUCH DEEPER AND THE SCAR LASTS MUCH LONGER BECAUSE MEN AREN`T SUPPOSE TO BE VULNERABLE. MACHO DOESN`T LEAVE ROOM FOR VULNERABILITY. AND IF OUR TRUST IS VIOLATED NO MAN IS EVER THE SAME.

MEN`S BAGGAGE IS NOT AS EASILY NOTICED BUT WEIGHS A LOT HEAVIER. SO THEN OUR NATURAL RESPONSE WHEN WE MEET ANY GOOD WOMAN IS EITHER A. TO TRY TO MAKE HER SUBMISSIVE TO US FIRST BEFORE WE CAN SUBMIT TO HER AND THEN CHEAT ON HER THAT WAY IN CASE WE BECOME TOO VULNERABLE WE DON`T FEEL LIKE WE WERE COMPLETELY GOTTEN OVER ON. OR B. TO DISMISS HER IN WHATEVER FASHION NECESSARY. EITHER BY SAYING SHE`S STUCK UP, NEVER TRYING TO GET WITH HER IN THE FIRST PLACE, OR AIMING FOR SEXUAL GOALS WHEN WE TRY TO GET WITH HER INSTEAD OF RELATIONSHIP GOALS. MEN ARE SCUM AT A 98% RATE. AND FURTHERMORE WE KNOW WE`RE SCUM. IF ANY GOOD WOMAN WILL HAVE US WE CAN`T ACCEPT THAT IT`S THAT EASY BECAUSE WE KNOW HOW LOW WE ARE. SO WE PROTECT OURSELVES BY TRYING NOT TO BECOME TOO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED OR AT LEAST LEAVING OURSELVES AN OUT i.e. “FRIENDS.” OF COURSE I AM NOT PLACING ALL THE BLAME ON MEN FOR THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. WOMEN ARE QUITE SCANDALOUS
OR AT LEAST CAPABLE OF BEING SO AT A 98% RATE. MEN WOULD NEVER GET TO THAT “DOG” STAGE IF WOMEN DIDN`T GO FOR THAT KIND OF THING. I`VE SEEN MANY A NICE GUY TURNED SOUR BY SCANDALOUS WOMEN WHO THOUGHT THEY MADE BETTER “FRIENDS” OR “BIG BROTHER” ONLY TO FIND THAT WITH THEIR NEW INSINCERE APPROACH THEIR EFFICIENCY RATING SKYROCKETED. IT`S A VICIOUS CYCLE THIS THING CALLED RELATIONSHIPS. PEOPLE AREN`T GOING TO STOP BEING SELFISH AND THEY AREN`T GOING TO STOP LIKING WHAT`S BAD FOR THEM. UNFORTUNATELY, THROUGH ALL THIS ANALYSIS I HAVE NO SOLUTION EXCEPT WOMEN DATING WOMEN. IT WILL FORCE US TO GET OUR ACT TOGETHER AND YOU ALL CAN THINK ABOUT WHAT IT REALLY IS THAT`S GOING TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP FUNCTION.

AS AN ASIDE TO THIS ENTRY. WHEN PROOFREADING IT I REALIZED SOMETHING I WANTED TO SAY. THIS IS A HINT FOR WOMEN THAT I HOPE YOU TAKE HEED OF. 9 OUT OF TEN MEN CHEAT. WETHER YOU LIKE IT OR BELIEVE IT OR NOT THIS IS TRUE. SO CHANCES ARE YOUR MAN IS CHEATING ON YOU. BUT HERE`S THE THING. IF YOUR MAN IS INSECURE WHEN YOU HAVEN`T GIVEN HIM NECESSARY REASON TO BE (EVEN THOUGH YOU PROBABLY HAVE BECAUSE OF HOW SCANDALOUS WOMEN ARE) THEN THERE IS A 99.99% CHANCE THAT HE IS ONE OF THE 9 MEN CHEATING ON WOMEN. WE FEEL OUR MOST INSECURE WHEN WE REALIZE HOW EASY IT IS TO GET OVER ON SOMEONE, IN THIS CASE YOU THE WOMAN. IF WE SEE THAT YOU DON`T HAVE A CLUE OR YOU JUST ACCEPT WHATEVER BULLSHlT COMES OUT OF OUR MOUTH. WE WONDER OURSELVES HOW MANY THINGS WE`VE OVERLOOKED BECAUSE WE DIDN`T WANT TO BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO US WRONG. IT`S LIKE A FORMULA. THE AMOUNT OF INSECURITY WITHOUT PHYSICAL EVIDENCE IS IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO THE LIKELIHOOD THAT WE ARE CHEATING OURSELVES.

Mind you most of my commentary is based on relationships dealing with black people. Reading this now I still have no practical answers. The balance is so unfairly swung in man’s favor that women are doomed to live out this vicious cycle relying on luck as their only out. Between Jail, early Death, and same sex preference, for every “desirable” man (and by desirable I mean availability + attraction) there’s four desirable women on his level. people don’t tend to deviate from their level when picking partners but they wouldn’t find the pickings more plentiful if they went up or down a level anyway. So then if a man can get with 4 women, then what’s to stop him? well certainly not women because between cattiness and jealousy they divide and conquer themselves for the sake of pulling one of these men. Sometimes they subject themselves to sharing, and hold not the man, nor themselves, but the other woman accountable. Well there is nothing short of a million woman march and a community declaration of celibacy (kind of like the blog) that would get men in line. When Sheike and me were in her car talking about the guy she likes she was telling me all these great things about him then proceeded to tell me why they aren’t enough. Naturally, I thought that she was being too picky. Knowing the mentality of men I thought that she was asking too much and she should settle for what she had. Now after listening to her for 10 minutes I realized I was wrong about that. She should not settle. I believe in striving for perfection. And I applaud her for doing so even though I suspect most of her striving for perfection is just that she is a malcontent and can’t be comfortable without conflict. The problem with this theory is that she will continue to be lonely if she finds somebody who is “good enough” but won’t settle because he’s not perfect. Because in this era of dating for a man to be “good enough” is almost rare enough for it to be considered perfect. It’s like in grade school when the bad kid gets a gold star for doing his homework. Big whoop you did what you’re supposed to do. But we’ve become so accustomed to underachievers that deviance is the norm and mediocrity is celebrated.

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16 responses to “None of the answers to women’s questions

  1. I agree with you about not settling for less. Too many times we shortchange ourselves, because of “slim pickings” or low self-esteem.One thing about perfection – I heard a girl in college talk about her mom being perfect and my friend was arguing with her saying that couldn’t possibly be the case. He kept missing the point that she wasn’t saying her mother was without faults, but rather even her faults were perfect. Everything she would expect a mother to be, her mother was. As the search continues for that ‘perfect’ someone, remember that weaknesses don’t necessarily make a person any less perfect. We just have to know what we can live with and deal with on a day to day basis.

  2. The former ball player in me smiles extra wide today. Most guys ASSume that female ballers are gay, so it’s refreshing to hear you express your crush.I’ll over-look the fact that she’s 16…LOL

  3. Dang Jedi, that was deep. And I’m so mad at that 90% statistic. Very discouraging :(You know, just the other day my Mom was telling me that she heard an expert on “Oprah” (stop rolling your eyes) talking about domestic violence. She said in cases where they murder their significant other, the reasons differ for men and women.With men, they usually murder thier SO because she tries to leave him or is cheating on him. With women, they usually murder their SO because she wants him out of the way. (Not all the time, just most of the time) That speaks a lot.(Sorry to get all morbid in your blog) 🙂

  4. Funny, funny, funny. Your blog and Chevonne’s murder comment. I agree with your blog, especially about when men think their woman is cheating.As for the crush, I was just discussing that sometimes a nice crush can be ruined if the other person returns an interest. It’s just nice sometimes to like the idea of a person.As for the crush being 16, I will think positively and think you like the idea of her and do not have lustful ideas on that child. Yuck

  5. To be honest, I can understand the crush thing regarding the age thing… not that i’m crushin on sum minor… but one always hears, “If I were X years younger…” from older folks. I wouldn’t call it a crush but whenever i’d see a young chica that was pretty i’d think back to when i was her age and sayin to myself, “If I were her age I’d try and talk to her.” come on now, even Mia’s guilty of that (sorry to pull ur card like dat bruh but i needed to make my point more understandable)

  6. Hmmm, I had about 5 GOOD MJ/Arruh Kelly jokes when I began reading this, but alas, your blog was so long that I forgot them. It was nice to revisit that response. Mayne, u’re just bringing ’em this week, hunh? Just go on ahead and start that relationship advice column.

  7. oh, and i disagree with the 90% of men cheat comment. I think a lot of people cheat in their lifetimes but when they grow older many start to realize the value of their word. plus, i know more guys than 1 out of 10 that dont cheat. if they do they keep it well covered and if thats the case, then we can say that about women too cuz they’re even better at coverin shit up. and if that’s true then there’s no point in committing at all cuz that makes everybody a liar and cheater… and i’d hate to think that this world is that full of deceit.

  8. @Shelly and I guess that’s what I was saying to her. She was basically telling me she didn’t like the fact that he wasn’t very outgoing as far as trying to spend individual time with her. He always invites her places but his freinds are always there and he doesn’t usually initiate them spending time together solo. I was like well “is that that big of a problem? If you really want to see him just ask.” and then she was like “But it’s important to me that he come to me for that.” which I understand that but at the same time it’s like he can’t read your mind. some things you just gotta accept.@ Rock I’ve always had an affinity for female basketball players. I’ve only dated one though. But woman who plays basketball is very attractive to me because it’s so important. And you can tell she really loves the game by how hard she plays. @ Chevonne I guess that makes sense. Women tend to handle cheating much better than men. I wasn’t aware that they were killing em off to get rid of them tho.@Call I’m pretty asexual in my neutral state so I don’t usually have too many sexual thoughts anyway. But nah, I don’t look at her like that. I kind of look at her the way I looked at girls before I even knew what sex was. She’s cool (good at ball) and I’ll cheer for her the most cause she’s my favorite.@Rydah thank you bruh I was starting to feel like I was the only one who ever did this. as far as my 90% analysis that was more like statistical hyperbole. I just exxagerate the statistics to get the point across. It’s like the media except with good intentions. I definitely think that women are doing their share of wrongdoing too though. I didn’t forget to mention they were scandalous at a 98% rate.@ Diggs I wish I was famous so people would start taking my advice. I wonder how Dr Phil got started? Yeah it was kind of long but I could talk for days about male/female relationships.@Don you did the right thing bruh. Get you a good one and get the… out.

  9. wow@the 16 yr old crush QQ’n…hey 2 more year’s she’ll be legal…but yea, that’s sad, those statistics…especially since i still have a v-card and is scared, well use to be scared, (still am sometimes), that when i finally get into a relationship that dude will cheat on me sinc ei’m not giving nothing up until marriage…

  10. What’s up boo? Thanks for dropping by my spot. I think your setup is pretty cool sweetie. Interesting posts you got here (although I do feel a bit ancient reading some of it..lol) Come back soon dear. I’m out…**Diva holds up 2 fingers** Deuces! LOL

  11. first of all, i would like to thank you. thank you for helping me to take a second and a third vow of celibacy… um, err, abstinence. the goodies will be on lock indefinitely (uh, that is unless chocolate bruh comes around and acts right… the thought of going years without sex is causing me to have spells of dizziness).and you said…”WHEN A MAN IS VULNERABLE TO A WOMAN AND HE FALLS VICTIM TO DECEIT OR INFIDELITY THE WOUND IS MUCH DEEPER AND THE SCAR LASTS MUCH LONGER BECAUSE MEN AREN`T SUPPOSE TO BE VULNERABLE. MACHO DOESN`T LEAVE ROOM FOR VULNERABILITY. AND IF OUR TRUST IS VIOLATED NO MAN IS EVER THE SAME.”this is SO SOOO true. the whole reason for my divorce. damn gian, are you a prophet or some ish like that? lol. i appreciate your honesty and i always enjoy reading your entries regarding the male aspect of relationships (or sex). i always feel like i learn something from you :o)

  12. I had a crush on a 17 yr. old, so i understand where you’re coming from. It wasn’t about me wanting him in a sexual matter, it was pure admiration..and if i was 7 yrs. younger i’d probably holla…..As far as your men, women analysis I agree with 90% of what you said, but Gian you know me I don’t agree with the women being scandalous. That’s just not so with alot of us……..but we’ll speak on that!

  13. After reading most of your feedback, I guess I’m the only one not feeling your “What’s wrong with men” theory. While I do agree men don’t handle vulnerability well, it’s not written “anywhere” that men are not suppose to feel vulnerable. It’s a human emotion, and although I would like to consider some of you animals, you are human. It’s just messed up that women strive to be more in a male dominated society because like you said we are “socialized to be submissive to men” and you think YOUR baggage is heavier than ours! Interesting…Like the militant brother still crying about his lack of opportunities (and not doing sh*@ with his jobless self) This is just another damn excuse! An excuse to stay lazy and psychologically oppressed by your own physical and mental imperfections. For once I would like a guy to just fess up and say…we’re selffish, lazy and ungrateful and that’s what’s wrong with us! Then get their selfish, ungrateful, lazy azzes up and fix it! Any one can make up an answer but not everyone can create a solution.Peace…

  14. Just in case you’re checking back Deliverance. I didn’t mean to say men aren’t supposed to feel vulnerable. WHat I mean was that men are socialized to feel that being vulnerable is bad. As far as your comments concerning what I said about men’s baggage I think that for you to say it is an excuse you would have to know me personally which you do not. The fact is that it is not an excuse. You seem to be implying that I’m shifting blame from men which is also not true. Never has it been uttered from my mouth that males are not selfish creatures. Like you said we’re all animals which makes us all selfish, both male and female. An excuse is not the same as a reason and vice versa. I can tell you why men are the way they are and it’s true whether you like it or not. But Certainly at no point did I justify anything. Not in this post anyway.

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