Before I get to the BLOG I read last night at Sweet Lorraine’s for all those interested. I kind of fucked it up cause I didn’t have it all memorized and the lighting on the stage wasn’t so good. I was kind of rushing too and when I would catch myself doing it I’d slow down so it was kind of like having sex with someone who just can’t decide on a speed. But the crowd really seemed to like it especially this older woman who I think wanted to take me home. She asked me where I’d be reading next. I wouldn’t mind having a groupie even if she is 15 years older than me.
I had to steal that title from Tae cause I liked it so much but in actuality I just fumbled the whole game right into the comode. This took place in early Novemeber of last year and only now am I coming to grips with the very poorly played series of events. I won’t be telling this story in a completely linear fashion so pay attention. Me and my cousiin were coming out of Subway around my mom’s house and going into Subway is this really good looking woman with her two kids who completely turns me around. She was about 5’3 very petite but slightly curvy. Gold medium length haircut, Georgeous. She turned around and looked back at me so for a second I felt pretty good about myself until I looked closer and noticed that she looked really familiar. I couldn’t place her though but I was sure I looked familiar to her for some reason to. However I’m not all that much into running up on good looking girls on the street so this angle wasn’t enough to get me to approach her. It wasn’t until 30 minutes or so later that I realized that that was Chasiddy.
Ages 15-17 were very influential in my growth as an “entertainer” of women. I was pretty shy up until right around this point and only now that girls were developing breasts did it make it worth it to step out on a limb for them. So I found myself putting more effort into gaining women’s favor. Chasiddy being a large factor during this time. She was a perfume girl at the Maison Blanche (which is now the Dillard’s) in the Plaza around my house. Well the mall being the main waste area for downtime in my teenage years I came across her quite frequently. Back then she had the sexiest short, jet black hair cut. which was the only physical difference between her then and now 10 years later. Now I’m serious ya’ll. She affected me. I ALWAYS went into the Plaza through the Maison Blanche entrance so I’d have an excuse to leave through there too and I’d get in as much Chassidy time as I could. It was always an event for me. I’d walk in trying to concentrate on my breathing like I was in child labor or something. When I got to the mirrors under the escalator I would check to make sure everything was intact. I would walk directly past whatever counter she was working at careful either to (or not to) make eye contact depending on how bold I was. But NEVER EVER speaking. For two years my main attraction at the Plaza was dressed in a white lab coat not even knowing I existed. I swear I would sometimes go into the plaza with the soul purpose of seeing her. I wasn’t really afraid of girls anymore but I was quite certain she was at least 25 years old and she was certainly out of my league at that time. So I said nothing until one day when I was talking to my friend Jared and he told me that she had come into Baskin Robbins and bought herself a birthday ice cream cake. He asked who the cake was for and she said it was for her cause no one else would by her one. What was this? This Goddess was unaccounted for? What were men thinking. So then one Mother’s day in May when I happened to be in the Plaza shopping for my mom it came to me. Chassidy was pregnant at the time (not mine unfortunately) so when I went to get my mom a Mother’s day card I got her one too. I’m not sure what it said or what I wrote in it but when I gave it to her she was both surprised and very pleased. I did not act on this because I had a girlfriend at the time who I was quite devoted to. And I didn’t really want to get a number or anything out of it. I really just wanted to let her know that I appreciated all the nothing she did that I got to enjoy. Anyway this incident was the last time I showed my face in the Plaza for a long time. I guess I had outgrown it and by now it was a terrible place to shop as anyone from N.O. can attest. It may have been only two or three occassions in the subsequent years that I went in. But she wouldn’t really acknowledge me, nor I her. Shortly after this she was no longer working at the Plaza and I wouldn’t see her again until this day at Subway. So now driving away I thought to myself maybe it would have been better to approach her but what can you do? so that weekend I’m in IHOP at about 4am with Cook on Saturday. I’m sitting in the booth and in she walks with this other pretty girl. I’m like “Cook, there she is” and he’s like “Who is she” so I start telling him the same boring story I just told ya’ll, and he stops listening too. But I don’t care cause all I’m really thinking about is what I’m going to say when I go over there. I walk over to the table, we had exchanged a glance as she was walking in and I could tell that the recognition was there like before but her not being able to place me again. So I walk up to the table and I’m like
“Hey Chassidy, remember me?”
“Hey, no.” she says while text messaging someone or at least trying to look busy in case I’m some former stalker of hers she can’t place yet.
“I’m Gian. I got you a mother’s day card about 8 years ago or so.”
“Oh, hey” she looks up happily and relieved. “yeah, how are you?”
“This is my friend Terri.” she says continuing to text.
“Good to meet you. Well I don’t want to interrupt I was just saying hey.”
So I walk back to my seat. She goes to the bathroom. Me and Cook sit there waiting for my food and he’s berating me because I still haven’t said anything. When she sits back down she motions for me to come back over so I give Cook a wink and go join my new friends and Cook joins us shorlty after. So she starts asking me all kind of questions about what’s going on with me, what am I doing, what I do etc. and I’m talking but not really going anywhere. She’s really talking me up though. She’s all like “Wow 26 and single, no kids, Smart?” and I’m uneasily like “yeah” I’m not really sure what her goals are here I’m not really used to women who are that forward. She says that she’s 29. to which I’m shocked because she wasn’t all that much older than me all that time when I was acting like a bitch. So she says “how come you don’t have a girlfriend?” I give her the short version because I would be all night explaining to people why I don’t have a girl. So she says “It’s been 5 years for me.” and I’m thinking damn she’s been single for five years. But I’m not sure so I ask anyway and she says she’s been married for 5 years. Whoa. So now I regroup. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on cause it seemed like she was kind of diggin me a little but now I’m thinking she was talking me up for her girl’s sake. Me and Terri talked a little bit and she was pretty attractive but I didn’t really think much of it until now. So as we’re leaving she tells me that she works at Saks in Canal place now. Me and Cook go off on our merry way and Cook is like “why you ain’t holla?” I’m like “man she’s married. She ain’t trying to holla at me.” Cook is like “man I don’t know.” and meanwhile I’m saying I seem to have a pretty good in with Terri since I’m represented so well to her friend. As the weekend passes and I think more about it the more I convince myself that I should go to Saks and see what’s up with her friend. On Monday I go in, on my way to the casino with Lee. So we’re sitting there and she starts trying to sell me a candle. I’m like “Does Terri like Candles?” and she’s like “sure” so I tell her I’ll get one for Terri. And she looks at me for a second and she’s like “you’re getting one for Terri?” She asks me this three more times each time I reply yes, the last time I’m like “why is she married too?” And she’s like “No but Terri likes this perfume that’s the same price so maybe you want to get her that.” So I’m like ok whatever. Now everybody believe me I’m not the nigga that just buys random gifts for women. In fact I pride myself in how much money I don’t spend while getting women to like me. I wsas just in a period where I was pretty rich by my standards and it was kind of fun for me to be buying this present for a woman I didn’t know as a gesture of courting. So I’m filling the card out with my number and all that other shit and Lee is like “So you’re married?” and CHassidy is like “Yeah but we’re separated now”
In my head as I’m filling out the card I’m thinking to myself you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. So I run out of the store as quickly as I can now feeling like an idiot. Why didn’t I just listen to Cook. But it’s too late now anyway. So I get over it after not too long. Later on at home Lee and I are talking about it and he makes an comment about her asking me several times about the candle. And I’m like “yeah, what was the deal with that? WHy did she keep asking me if it was for Terri?” and Lee is like “Duh, Because she wanted you to get it for her.”
Dear God am I that stupid. I’m usually pretty sharp but this has to be the dumbest I’ve ever been. So now I start thinking of how I can rectify this. I’m like I’ll go talk to her and be like I only tried to holla at your friend cause you said you were married. Problem is that she was off for the next two days and I was sure by that time Terri would call. As luck would have it she didn’t so first thing Thursday morning I went straight to Saks. I get there and I’m like “Hey when is your lunch break?” she’s like “i don’t think I’m taking one today. Why?” And I’m like “cause I wanted to talk to you about something.” SHe’s like “well talk.” just then I spot out of the corner of my eye Terri is walking over. and She’s like “Oh Terri’s here she wants to thank you for the perfume” FUCK! so then Terri, who’s on the phone comes over to say thank you meanwhile Chassidy goes off to tend to a customer. So now I’ve blown it with Chassidy and because I came with all this ackwardness about needing to talk to her I’m sure I’ve blown it with Terri too. The situation was just too much. Too much poor play on my part so I slowly make my way out without anyone noticing and just chalk the whole thing up. That is until I find out later that Lee went there on his own not too long after I left to help me rectify the situation. Sigh. Needless to say that the few times I’ve seen them out since then which have become increasingly frequent neither of them nor I have much to say to each other. Way to go Gian.