Soapbox

Greatest basketball memory for each individual player:

Reggie Miller-raining threes in the Garden then giving Spike Lee the choke sign

Latrell Sprewell- dunking on Pheonix Suns whole team in playoffs

Sheed-all of his two hand power dunks followed by scream blend into each other, and all get the adrenaline flowing

Shawn Kemp-dunk all over Gatling’s face then Gatling daps him up

Ron Artest-punching that dude with the Ben Wallace Jersey who ran up on him

Chris Jackson-pullup three off the crossover

Iverson-crossin up Tyronn Lue then stepping over him after he J’ed him in the eye

Darvin Ham-reverse spin slapping the backboard dunk

Gary Payton-pass between his legs to Ricky Pierce coming up court

Kobe-catching a reverse alley-oop

Chris Childs-Punching Kobe in the mouth 2ce before he knew he got hit

Jordan-shot on Bryon Russell to win championship in 98/ shot on Ehlo in first round of 89 playoffs

Those waiting around for the political talk bear with me. It’s a linear thought process that much like everything that matters in life starts and ends with sports. So I was sitting around, supposed to be writing something and on t.v. they were talking about Ty Willingham being fired. Then they got into NFL coaches who might be fired at the end of the season. Among them Jim Haslett’s name was mentioned. They were talking about this because Butch Davis, former coach of the Cleveland Browns, resigned. Apparently the Browns front office said they would wait until after the Super Bowl if they had to make sure they got the best hire. Obviously whoever said this had Romeo Cornell, and or Charlie Weis, the two head coordinators for the Patriots, in mind assuming they might find themselves coordinating in the Championship game. Any assistant coach wants a job as a head coach. That’s kind of the point. So if The Saints pursued one of these assistants who probably are both more well equipped than any other candidates available right now, then surely we would land them. But it was in this momment an epiphany struck me that I had thought briefly about before. The Saints are not going to go get Romeo Cornell. They aren’t going to get Charlie Weis. For the same reason the Hornets didn’t go get Rick Carlisle after they got rid of a perfectly servicable coach. And this is where I start getting socio-political. It’s the same problem that plagues everything in New Orleans. The only thing that matters here is turning a profit. That goes for any and every system, team, church or whatever ever you can find located in the city of New Orleans. We could very easily pursue a coach who can guide our team to a championship. But those coaches cost too much. So we get a coach at a bargain price that may or may not have success but hopefully will provide an entertaining enough product that we’ll still pump dollars into them. And when the call comes for this mediocre coache’s head, we replace him with another mediocre coach at an equally bargain basement price. (Now let’s get real) We could easily pour money into schools and raise our level of education so that we don’t consistently bring up the rear in America. Our kids could pass the leap test and maybe one day they’d grow up not wanting to kill each other because someone stepped on their tennis shoes. But here’s a better idea. We’ll keep them dumb. Then we’ll exploit them by putting them in jails where we get paid 50 dollars a day to house them but we only spend 5 cents on a stale tuna fish sandwich and a cup of water. And for the one’s who don’t take to violence, we’ll put corrupt police (who very often have their own agenda on scamming money from criminals) on the street and instruct them to ticket everything moving. If there were no violations cover your ass and make something up. Then either one of two things will happen. They’ll realize it their word against a police officer’s, and in a court of law we know who wins that one, pay the fine and go quietly into the night. Or they’ll neglect the fine and then we can throw contempt of court fees, and bench warrants at them which will of course eventually land them in jail and subsequently get us more money. Win/win situation for the city of New Orleans. Field a perrenial loser each year but keep a consistent profit margain. In the mean time we can’t attract any buisness to the city that isn’t higly based around tourism because the only money in the city is for those tied in politically, but who needs buisness when we’re only exploiting people in the projects. They’ll kill each other off eventually anyway unless we lock them up first. Nevermind that streets are terrible and schools are terrible so who wants to live here. Nevermind that there is real crime going on somewhere. We need the police out there on the streets putting moving violation offenders away. They’re just as profitable jailwise as a murderer, except they can actually, and are more likely to, post bond too. Nevermind children are shooting each other in schools. We’ll hire the same apethetic, ill-equipped, poorly educated, people that came through New Orleans parish schools in the first place. Then we’ll provide them with low budget second rate training that way we can keep them at a pay rate that is bottom scale just like the ill-equipped, apethetic teachers we have staffed. More buisness = more jobs. More jobs = less crime. we don’t need locals having money. we need them filling our jails. The tourists will take care of providing patronage to our buisnesses. Never mind hiring a real coach to replace the clipboard holder we have now. We’ll just get a name people can recognize that can’t demand much salary-wise, or some unknown, ill-equipped person to appease the public while we turn a profit instead of turning a winner. I could go on all day about the state of affairs in this city. And don’t get me started on the police (those ego-centric, powertripping, corrupt, money hungry, motherfuckers). But instead I think I’ll just go out and vote.

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