scrippage flippage

Maybe I won’t always do top 10’s maybe I’ll just do random stuff that comes to mind.

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If my life were Love Jones

I would be Darius

Cook would be Savon

Kibwe would be Wood

Jen would be Sheila

Lee would be Ed

and conspicuously missing would be Nina Mosely

I was writing last night and for the story I’m working on. I decided to use as one of the sub stories a true life experience for me. It got me to thinking about it and how interesting an experience it was for me. There was this girl I met online. We acquainted ourselves with each other over the phone. Then one Friday evening I got around to paying her a visit. long story short things happened that evening. I was relatively pleased with my achievement and wasn’t bashful about sharing it with her. Before we had gotten down to buisness she had told me that she had only been with two guys and hadn’t been with anyone in over a year. I learned a long time ago that people just say whatever comes out of their mouth and that doesn’t necessairily make it true. What I had still had trouble with at the time was that I would always assume what people said was true if I felt like they felt they had no reason to lie to me even if that didn’t mean that they felt that way. So I assumed in this case that she would have understood that she had no reason to lie about anything and just took her story for granted. Perhaps I wanted to believe that because I knew the path we were on and it was much more flattering to me to assume that she had chosen me of all the suitors in the last year. At any rate. I remember boasting to her that it took a special kind of man to get that kind of work done that quick with someone so prudish. She countered by telling me I shouldn’t be so full of myself. Everything that happened was her doing and I just thought I was running shit. So of course I dismissed her statements as her trying to convince herself that she was in control the whole time. And I was content to know that inside she knew the truth. Anyway, after not too much longer our relationship had run its course and we drifted. A long while later I ran into the girl who she had just moved in with about the time we cut off correspondence. I went to hear Nikki Giovanni speak at Xavier (which by the way was an enlightening experience that I’ll have to get back to) and I saw the girl. I asked her how Her roomate was doing. Long story short, among other things, she told me that The girl had lied about sleeping with me saying she had not done it and that she did not even like me. That she had lied about the number of people she had slept with and was in fact quite promiscuous. She at some poiint was caught by this girls boyfriend with two guys at once. I can’t say that I was surprised that she didn’t like me. I’m sure I came off very arrogant to her. And I can’t say that I was surprised to find a woman lying. What did surprise me was that she lied to me even though she didn’t really have to. And a very strong epiphany came over me at that instant. So strong it brought a smile to my face. I realized I was never in control of that situation. That I was a pawn and not a king in HER game. I don’t know why she lied to this day. Maybe sex had become so monotonous to her the only thing of interest was seducing men into thinking that they were in some way prestigous to be sleeping with her. Maybe she was just into roleplaying. I don’t know. But either way. I remembered our conversation that I was so sure that she had succomb to me when in fact I had been used for sex. I wish I could talk to her now and tell her how fun that was for me and how much I admire her for that.

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